SINGAPORE: A man who graduated from the National University of Singapore took to social media, complaining about the cost of living and how he struggled after getting married.

In an anonymous post to popular confessions page NUSWhispers, the man wrote: “Feeling frustrated. NUS grad here. Got married about a year ago. I understand why now our birth rate is so low. Singapore is already one of the most stressed countries in the world. Coupled with long working hours (again a country with one of the longest working hours), cost of living etc”.

He added that he also found things to be rather rigid and conventional here.

Work ended at 6 pm for him but he found that if he left at exactly 6 pm, people looked at him differently. He also said that he preferred working from home, or ‘hybrid work’ but now things were going back to working from the office. “Like why can’t we have a breather or some flexibility in this country? Everywhere is rush, everything is serious”, the man added.

“Sch is so competitive and kids as young as 3-4yo are starting with enrichment classes. The cost is insane. How do we young couples even think of having a child? Even a graduate salary (lower tier) for myself and my wife is so hard to sustain. People will say don’t like then migrate. Why shud I? I was born here and so were my parents. It just feels like a top down cultural/traditional mindset that isn’t changing”, he wrote.

One netizen who commented on his post said: “Try and pull down the expectations a little – kids are only expensive if you insist they go (*) instead of (*). Go kids clinic instead of polyclinic. Instead of focusing on WHY your world sucks, focus on HOW you can make your world better. Not saying it’s easy, but sometimes you gotta stop following the system and create your own path. (Started my own biz, because I couldn’t tahan corporate world. Not easy in early years, but now found back my time) As someone wise once told me… “if you can’t find a solution, you aren’t being creative enough.” So stop looking at Facebook and see your Friends post only the “good side” of their lives. Set realistic expectations, don’t have to benchmark against your ex-classmates, live your own life. I wish you happiness”.

Another netizen echoed similar sentiments: “It’s all about perspectives and mindset. Maybe if you care less about how other sees you and focus on your own life, you can also be contented. Happiness doesn’t come with money or power. In everything that you mentioned, it’s all about the choices and how you manage it. For example, if you take back the power you gave to other people in making you feel bad when leaving work on time, which you are entitled to do (regardless of your workload). Heck, even leaving earlier is fine if you have a reason! The important thing is to remain responsible and accountable for your work. Continue work at home after settling down, or choosing not to OT on weekdays but spend a couple hours to clear them on a weekend. All while being able to juggle your personal life as well.As for salary, enrichment classes etc. learning to make do with what you have, good planning and living within your means are critical and you can still be happy! Salary will increase over time for most people. A lot of things in life is never a need, but more of wants”.

* – Names have been removed

SINGAPORE: A woman took to social media asking if she was too soft-hearted and kind because she did not know how to get her money back from her friend who borrowed some.

In an anonymous post to popular confessions page SGWhispers, the woman wrote: “Basically early this year my friend asked if I could lend her money cause she’s broke so without 2nd thought I lent it to her. She promised to return back by next month. Then when time is up, I asked if she could return my money, she told me she will do it in the evening. So as a friend, I trusted her but later in the evening she did even not transfer”.

She added that she thought her friend had probably forgotten so she let the matter slide.

Later in the month when she reminded her friend, the latter said that she had transferred the money already.

However, upon checking her account, the woman said that there were no deposits from her friend. “So after, that she came back telling me that her account got issues cannot transfer. Fine! Few months later, I reminded her to transfer back the money she did not still”, the woman added.

Recently when she reminded her friend, the latter again said she would do it in the evening of that very day. However, she still did not.

“I really don’t know how to ask for my money back…. Even though I’m not the person that owe others money but still I’m too shy to ask for my money back. I don’t know why I’m feeling this way, maybe because I don’t want to ruin the friendship????” the woman said.

Netizens who commented on the post told her to ask her friend directly.

One said: “Instead of asking for it back, ask her directly if she is having problems paying you back and why she needs to continually lie to you? Say you don’t want to lose your friendship but she needs to be honest with you. And if she truly is having problems try and find a solution eg can she pay small amounts every week? Have this conversation face to face”.

Another netizen commented: “Your friend was the one who ruined the friendship, not you, when she decided to take your money and did not keep to her promise on when to return. I’ve seen far too many relationships and friendships ruined because of money. So lend only what you’re prepared to never get back. For me, I just tell my friends and whoever that I have very strict no money lending policy. It works 100% of the time. They mostly will respect your stand, or if they start accusing you of being heartless and cruel, then you’ll know if the person is a real friend who knows how to respect your boundaries. Good luck”.

SINGAPORE: A man who desperately wanted to resign from his job asked if he should stay for another six months just so he could collect a year-end bonus.

In an anonymous post to popular confessions page NUSWhispers, the man wrote that he had been feeling drained at work for months even though he had not even been working for a year at his current company. “The thought of resigning has been occuring in my mind”.

He added that the work affected his mental health as he did not enjoy it. Furthermore, he wrote that he did not “enjoy the whole company culture/environment and not being treated respectable by clients/colleagues as they deemed that I am not meeting their expectation consistently which I do felt uncomfortable of the vibes from them. I do not have much support from my team as well as this is mainly a solo position posted to the client site”.

However, the man wrote that he would receive a bonus of about S$10,000 at the end of the year, but this would require him staying on for another six months or so.

He asked netizens: “Would you suggest if I should find another job (for the sake of not wasting more time on not doing something not considered as growth in career learning/enjoy in it & mental happiness state) or should I “force” myself to endure 6 more months just to entitle for the bonus payout..?”

Those who commented on his post were divided. Some urged him to tough it out. Others said to prioritise his mental health. One netizen said: “I left my gov job for a career change at Nov and forgo at least 3 months bonus at Dec and “potential” promotion next March. I used to love my job, and worked there for 9yrs! But the management was disappointing and I’ve spent roughly 3yrs on on-and-off job hunting. Back then I was married without kid but tied down by hdb mortgage. The uncertainty was scary, the way to unlearn n relearn was challenging, tbh I’ve cried several times questioning is it worth it. Now I’m earning more than before, upskilled, widened my horizon, better wlb and found myself a better boss. Find a better and happier version of urself, u urselves worth more than that 10k”.

Another gave him a solution: “Do both… find a job while waiting for bonus. If you can find a ‘good one’ (a pay with $500 more monthly, will be $6k/year more… closing the gap with your $10k pay). Otherwise, just take it as interview practise and get your bonus”.

Read related: Earlier this year, a daughter who was tired of her mother demanding money from her took to social media asking if she was obliged to give her mother some of her annual performance bonus as well.

In an anonymous post to popular confessions page SGWhispers, the woman wrote that over the past two years, she found it harder to get along with her mother. “To her, she expects money (monthly allowance) every month by her working daughters, as and when to bring her to atas places to eat so she can show off to her real life friends and Facebook friends. When there’s occasions (mothers day, Xmas, birthday etc) she unspokenly expects gifts and meals”. The woman wrote that she recently found out that her mother was waiting for her daughters to give her a share of their yearly performance bonus as well. “Her logic is, whatever our income, she wants a piece of it. Monthly salary, AWS, performance bonus… before we started working, she already told her she wants 10% of our take home pay every month, if not she will chase us out of the house”.

Mother who receives monthly allowance from her daughters also wants a share of their yearly performance bonus as $800 is not enough