SINGAPORE: While some dream of marriage, one young man admitted online that he is reluctant to make such a big commitment.
On r/askSingapore, he shared how his parents are pushing him to marry early by setting him up with their friends’ daughters and constantly comparing him to his 25-year-old female cousin, who is also about to tie the knot.
However, the young man remained firm in his stance. He said, “I don’t think it makes sense to get married and have kids in this economy. Plus, I am just a fresh graduate who has almost $0 in savings and has yet to get my first paycheck.”
When he tried to convey his priorities to his parents and emphasized the importance of focusing on his career development, he felt that his “words fell on deaf ears.”
Moreover, when he requested more time, suggesting that his 30s would be a more suitable timeframe for marriage, his parents simply responded with, “Why can’t it be before 30? Like 28. See your cousin marrying at 25?”
He added, “Other day I did some calculations and realized nah not enough if I need to support a family on top of myself. I planned to save 50% of my salary, which could be part of the reason.
It is not because I am stingy but because the industry I am joining is prone to many rapid layoffs. So I need sufficient savings for the unthinkable. Hence, financially, I can at most support myself.”
Running out of options, the man asked the online community if he should just tell his parents that he was gay.
“Although I am not (gay) but this should stop their stunt to some extent?”
“Just tell them you are broke. No money for dates or deposit for HDB”
In the comments section of the thread, Singaporean Redditors gave the young man tips on how to handle the situation.
One Redditor suggested, “Just tell them you are broke. No money for dates or deposit for HDB. Nowadays having a good job doesn’t automatically make you a good candidate. Or just give a superficial answer until you’re 35.”
Another commented, “Just say you’re talking to some girls now. Then later, say they’re not compatible. Then, when they nag at you again, tell them you’re talking to some girls again, lor. Keep them on the hook.”
Others in the comments section had a different take, speculating that the young man might still be living with his parents, which could explain their tight grip on his life choices.
One Redditor stated, “They want to dictate your life because you’re still living under their roof. Move out, or try your best to explain to them why you are not ready to get married at this time.
Tell them straight that you’re not making enough to afford marriage and need to work a few more years to be able to make more money. Ask them – are they going to pay for your wedding and house?”
Still, a few Redditors empathised with the young man’s parents, explaining that their actions might stem from a genuine desire for him to experience the happiness of starting a family.
One Redditor added, “Look at it this way …your parents are thinking you are missing out on something wonderful that they experienced.”