Singaporean student says dating apps have made him doubt himself, seeks advice online

SINGAPORE: A 22-year-old university student has turned to Reddit for advice after struggling to find success on dating apps, saying the experience has affected his confidence and made him question his attractiveness.

In a post on r/asksg, he said his lack of success had left him wondering whether other men around his age were facing the same difficulties.

“It made me question whether I'm even attractive enough to date,” he wrote, asking whether dating apps were particularly difficult to navigate in Singapore or if he was doing something wrong.

With this, many netizens shared their thoughts, opinions, and own experiences in the comments section, in hopes of helping the one who posted. 

One comment recommended that he should work on himself, and admitted: “Live a healthier lifestyle and go and seek therapy if you feel like you have some unresolved trauma. Get health insurance too and work part-time if you have the time. Your future self will thank you, as the relationship that you attract will be a healthier one.” 

For some, they pointed out that he is young, and that he should not depend on dating apps alone. Netizens are suggesting for him to join social groups, especially that he is studying in a university where people can meet face to face. 

“Don't rely on dating apps. They are the worst because they draw out a particular kind of group of people that are more likely to care about superficial traits. Meet organically,” a netizen shared. 

“22 is such a young age to worry about getting girls. In fact, guys are attractive when they are mature, insightful, kind and considerate. Work on these traits, be neat and pleasant in appearance. Forget the dating apps when you can see physically in school the real girls-their heart and their outward appearance,” a comment concluded. 

At the end of the day, dating apps can make it easy to measure one’s value through likes, matches, and replies. However, it is important to remember that real connection often takes time, confidence, and a life beyond the screens of the phone.