‘Are people really happy for you?’: Singaporeans discuss envy and success among friends

SINGAPORE: In life, comparing one’s successes to others can definitely feel unavoidable. For some, comparisons become more noticeable with age, especially during events where people catch up and have a conversation about how they choose to live their lives after so many years.

This has been a discussion on Reddit, where a netizen openly questioned if people can really be genuinely happy for others, or if people do feel even a little bit of envy but don’t want to admit it. Furthermore, the netizen is curious to know about other people’s experiences, primarily if there has been a change in treatment when an individual has been doing better financially in life. 

“Curious to hear your experiences. Do you think we're naturally competitive as Singaporeans, or have we just grown up in an environment where everything feels like a comparison?” the post concluded. 

Netizens shared their thoughts and opinions on this subject matter. One claimed that there are lots of people who are happy when they see their family and friends succeed, and one can be competitive in life without hoping for someone else’s downfall. 

“My circle of friends here are all happy when someone else is doing well. It's actually d*mb to be unhappy when people close to you succeed because there are more benefits to being surrounded by successful people,” a comment stated. 

For others, they acknowledge that it is normal for people to feel envious or resentful if they see other people, especially those who are close to them, do better. 

“Envy is a form of motivation. There are irritating braggers who do well in life using whatever means possible to do so and there are humble people who genuinely are nice that you would root for their success. Regardless of the situation, we should try to be at peace with ourselves instead of letting other people's success get into our heads and hearts the wrong way,” a netizen remarked. 

One more netizen claimed that people can be envious and at the same time happy for people—it does not have to be contradictory. 

“It’s very simple. Those who are really your friends will celebrate you, and those who never cared much for you in the first place won’t; together with those who are always blaming everyone and everything around them won’t,” a comment concluded. 

At the end of the day, comparing oneself to others is part of human nature, but it does not have to define how we treat people. It is important to remember that the goal is to feel more secure about our own lives and focus on how we can be better to achieve our goals and dreams, without compromising our values.