Man alleges brother-in-law pocketed baby's S$5k ang baos before moving out and asking wife for separation
distraught woman
SINGAPORE: A Singaporean man is seeking advice after his brother-in-law allegedly kept more than S$5,000 in angbao money collected during their baby’s 100-day celebration without telling his wife. Days later, the husband reportedly moved out and announced that he wanted to live separately.
Posting on the r/askSingapore forum on Sunday (Nov 1), the man asked whether his brother-in-law’s actions amounted to “theft” and whether his sister could claim the money back.
He also mentioned that his parents had “fully funded” the baby’s 100-day celebration.
“During the event, my brother-in-law collected the angbaos and kept them in his own bank account. It should have been ~S$5k in total or more. He didn't let my sister know how much or who he collected it from,” he said.
“[But he] left home a few days ago and sent her a message saying that he no longer wants to live with her. Are there any grounds to taking the money back, and does this constitute theft since the angbaos were meant for the baby?”
According to the man, his brother-in-law proposed co-parenting their five-month-old baby and paying half the child’s expenses, but was not seeking a divorce.
Beyond the angbao dispute, the man also raised concerns about the financial imbalance in his sister's marriage.
He shared that his 36-year-old sister earns around S$2,000 a month but has been shouldering most of the costs associated with raising their baby and maintaining the household.
“Despite her low income, she has been fully funding all the baby's expenses, including childcare (S$1.4k per month), all household purchases, and other day-to-day necessities. My parents have also been helping her to buy things and giving her an additional S$500 per month to supplement her income.”
“She paid for her own confinement and pregnancy bills. Before this separation, she had been giving him all her money, including to pay off a bond he broke after leaving his FA job.”
Her husband, meanwhile, earns between S$5,000 and S$8,000 a month, but his financial contributions to the household have reportedly been limited to rent and utilities, which come to around S$500 monthly.
“Would appreciate advice from anyone familiar with Singapore family law, the Family Justice Courts, or similar experiences. Thanks in advance!” he wrote at the end of his post.
‘This kind of guy is not fit to be a father’
The account drew strong reactions from Reddit users, several of whom questioned why the wife had been responsible for so much of the family's financial burden.
“Still can’t understand why she’s the one who is less financially well off in the marriage and somehow happens to be the one shouldering most of the burden. How did this idiot convince the wife to agree to all this? Genuinely feel bad for the lady,” one said.
“Reading this really infuriates me. This kind of guy is not fit to be a father. Ang Bao gifts are meant for the baby, yet he took it for himself,” another wrote.
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Some also urged the woman to consider filing for divorce rather than agreeing to the proposed separation.
“She should consider filing for divorce as soon as possible to prevent any further damage. There’s a risk he might be building another family elsewhere, or worse, accumulating debts that your sister will be forced to pay off. He isn't acting like a partner; he's taking advantage of her,” one told the post author.
“I think he doesn’t want to get a divorce because your sister could get alimony, as the woman’s charter here is quite strong,” another speculated. “Your sister and baby absolutely deserve to be financially taken care of. If finances are a stretch, maybe you could find pro bono lawyers that could help with the divorce? Start saving all evidence.”/TISG