‘As the guy I should provide’: Singaporean man stressed after girlfriend expects him to pay for BTO
couple fighting
SINGAPORE: A Singaporean man has found himself under pressure to pay for a BTO flat after his girlfriend told him that, as the “guy in the relationship,” he should be the one providing for their home.
The man shared his dilemma on Reddit’s r/asksg forum, explaining that his girlfriend kept "demanding" it from him and repeatedly cited her father's example, saying this was what he had done for their family.
The problem, he wrote, is that both of them work and earn similar salaries, and he only started working this year.
“Should girls pay 50/50 for BTO, or should the guy pay as the provider? Is this normal for other couples? I just started working this year; there’s no way I can afford to pay all by myself, and I'm so stressed about it. Should I break up?”
The post drew a range of reactions, particularly from Singaporeans who said they had very different arrangements with their own partners.
One man said he had faced a similar situation with his former girlfriend, who also expected him to follow the example set by her father.
“The same thing happened to me as well. She told me the exact same thing—that her dad provided for her mum and that she also expects the same from me,” he shared.
“In my case, I didn’t mind paying for the whole apartment myself; I just needed her to have a job so that our combined income would be high enough to get the 75% bank mortgage. But she refused and said she won’t work after graduation. (She was still in Uni when we were dating). I broke up with my gf over this issue. Felt like I should find a more compromising partner.”
Several women also chimed in to say they had paid half for their housing and described the original poster's girlfriend as a “red flag.”
One user said, “I paid 50/50 even though he was okay with paying 100 because I was scared that we'll argue next time and he'll say, ‘This is my house; get out of my house.’”
Another commented, “For our first BTO, my husband and I paid 50/50. To be honest, he paid $1 more than me. He always teases that he has more rights in the house than me.”
A third wrote, “I'm paying more than my boyfriend because he started work later. In my opinion, 50-50 is logical. Gf is a red flag.”
Newsletter
Get updates straight to your inbox
A fourth added, “I don’t know why all these queens can't see that. They're expecting all the benefits of gender equality and think it won't come with a side of patriarchy. You can't have your cake and eat it too.”
Others simply told the man to reconsider the relationship.
“I'm a female. RUN. She's super entitled,” one comment read.
In other news, a woman has taken to the internet to share that she chose to walk away from a man she'd been seeing for five dates, after coming to the realisation that she hadn't been cared for in the way she wanted to be.
The woman, 37, said she is originally from China and currently lives in Singapore, while the man, 39, is a Singaporean Chinese.