‘Why can’t some friends be happy for you?’: Singaporeans discuss the pressure to keep up

SINGAPORE: Comparisons between people start at an early time in their lives—from school grades, job salaries and titles, savings, and later on to bigger purchases such as real estate and the like. 

Given that people grow by comparing themselves to others, a recent discussion on Reddit raised a very interesting question, particularly about Singaporeans being too competitive even among friends.

In a post, a netizen shared that living in a country with the practice of constantly comparing oneself to another carries over into adult friendships, and sometimes, it makes people wonder why it is hard to be genuinely happy to celebrate other people’s successes without even questioning one’s progress. 

“Sometimes I notice that people are genuinely happy for their friends until those friends start doing significantly better than them…. Somehow the dynamics change. Some become distant while others start making subtle remarks,” the netizen remarked. 

With this, many people shared their thoughts, opinions, and own experiences about the subject matter. One claimed that life is truly about finding better people to surround ourselves with, because the only competition that a person should need to engage in is themselves. 

“Competition is okay. The education system seldom encourages helping your peers… So most people end up being competitive and forget about being a good person,” a netizen declared. 

Another netizen stated: “Some competition is good, I agree, but not when you put your self-worth on impressing other people.” 

For some, growing older means leaving several people behind and realising that there are actually people who would want to be genuinely happy for others. Furthermore, others believe that it all boils down to the character of a person, and how and who they choose to surround themselves with, primarily those with the same values that they embody. 

“People will always want to feel better than other people. It will always be a part of us, no matter how much we don't realise it exists,” a comment concluded. 

At the end of the day, comparison may be a part of life, but it does not need to ruin relationships and friendships. This discussion highlights that celebrating others’ success does not mean that you fail; it is choosing to value quality relationships built on genuine support rather than quiet rivalry.