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How to save your marriage and enjoy each other’s company again, before divorce knocks on your door

There doesn’t always need to be an overwhelming reason for a marriage to break down. All it takes is for one person to stop caring, or when boredom sets in: “I am thinking about divorce. My spouse is great, but we don’t have anything in common. I am scared to grow old with this person. Should I leave?,” lamented one man, putting up his dilemma on Quora.

This isn’t just his story, and may even apply to so many of us. Staying in what is deemed as a rut, routine, mundane marriage because of an obligation and a commitment made a long time ago is what is felt by many. But then the question begged now is how did this become a mundane and boring relationship? Staying for the kids doesn’t cut it anymore as they will eventually grow up and leave the nest, leaving you with your significant other.

As a marriage counsellor and a man who has been married for many years, Doug Armey offers some sage advice, sharing his own experience as a married man.

”When we were dating, my wife and I couldn’t spend enough time together. Times apart felt like forever. Then we got married. Something about being together 24/7/365 brought out our glaring differences. Not only in personality but interests.

I enjoyed skiing, sailing, hiking, boating. Her main outside activity was ping pong with her family on Sunday afternoons. I enjoyed working on and driving classic cars and hot rods. She enjoyed gardening. I enjoyed playing sports. She enjoyed watching sports. I enjoyed car shows. She enjoyed the symphony and ballet.

It was then that he decided for the marriage to work, a new strategy was needed. One that accommodated both their needs. What happened next was they both made the effort.

She learned to ski and sail. I played ping pong and learned how to lose gracefully. She learned to appreciate classic cars and hot rods. I worked in the garden and kind of enjoyed it.

I played sports. Sometimes she’d watch. She went with me to car shows. I went with her to the symphony and ballet. Yet, we also did one other important thing. We gave each other space to enjoy those things without the other. I raced sailboats. She went to garden shows. I work on our classic cars in our back garage. She putters in our garden.

I go to car shows with buddies. She goes to the ballet with friends. I have friends at Rotary. She has friends in her guild for the local children’s hospital. I go to my office most days. She works in her home office most days.

What he said next is pivotal to the relationship. Despite pursuing all their interests separately and together at times, at the end of the day they both take an evening walk together, catch up on their lives and most importantly enjoy each other’s company.

At the end of the day, we are thankful that we married someone who is different because of the richness of life that brings. You’ll build a close marriage not as you do everything together, but as you give space for your differences.”


The post Making a marriage work when divorce is knocking on your door appeared first on The Independent News.

 

Singapore property market starts on a good note in 2022 — Report

In spite of new property tax rates, possible inflation coming hand in hand with a recession and/or an unemployment hike due to Russia’s attack on Ukraine, and upcoming interest rate hikes, the property market in Singapore for the first quarter of this year “started off on a good note.” 

The rental market for the next quarter is likely to remain high, especially with pandemic restrictions eased and foreigners expected to return to the country, according to PropertyGuru’s Singapore Property Market Report Q2 2022.

Public housing will remain in high demand, and the HDB resale market is expected to stay buoyant till the BTO (Built To Order) supply is “fully restored in the next four years.”

The report says that both HDB and private rental markets are going strong, with the median asking prices of rental properties listed on PropertyGuru Singapore hitting a new high.  

The median per square foot (PSF) sale prices for HDB resale flats have gone up slightly, and while the asking price growth for these flats has gone down, the demand continues to be strong, largely due to construction delays of BTO flats.

Interestingly, budget-friendly neighbourhoods such as Hougang, Punggol, and Sengkang saw the most transactions in the first quarter of the year.

More highlights: asking prices, especially for non-landed private properties, have risen at a slower rate. The report noted that growth has been more measured than in the past.

While the asking price of landed properties went up the most (7.15 per cent), this could be because 77 units were sold in Belgravia Ace (at Ang Mo Kio), and is “not indicative of an upward trend in the coming quarter.”

The report noted, however, that because the cost of borrowing has risen this year, and is expected to continue to do so, demand could slow down due to buyers exercising more caution.

As mentioned earlier, demands on the HDB rental market have remained strong due to delays in BTO construction. 

“The Rental Price Index for HDB flats for Q1 2022 sits at 185.69 points, compared to the overall Rental Price Index of 145.22 points,” the report noted.

More BTO flats have been launched for sale, but these will reach completion within the next three to five years.

The report noted that rental prices may see an uptick because of expatriates coming back to Singapore. It added that with Additional Buyer’s Stamp Duty (ABSD) rates now at 30 per cent for foreigners, they may opt for rentals instead of purchases. /TISG

Singapore’s new property tax targets ultra-rich — Analysts

Stories you might’ve missed, May 19

Maid finds out from neighbour that her employers were looking to replace her, asks advice on what to do

After finding out from the neighbour that her employers had planned to replace her, one domestic helper took to social media to ask others for advice on what to do.

The domestic helper, who went by the name of タグ たや あやた or Tagutaya ayata on Facebook, wrote in a post on Facebook group FDW in Singapore (working conditions forum) on Tuesday (May 17). She asked if there were any other helpers who had faced a situation similar to what she was going through. 

Read more here


Crocodile sunbathing, takes over Choa Chu Kang canal, YOU shall not pass!

Animal sightings are not unusual in Singapore at all, and most people may see an otter and just walk by. But a crocodile is another story, as one TikToker found out.

Set to a background of a rather dramatic foreground music, @khaijer posted a 30-second video of an unmoving croc in a concrete canal at Choa Chu Kang on Monday (May 16).

Read more here


Netizen says ‘waste money on this’ TraceTogether gantry, can now be put in museums

Sharing a photo of electronic TraceTogether gantries that were no longer in use, one netizen said that they could be put in museums.

In a post to Facebook group Complaint Singapore, a netizen by the name of Danny Tan shared a photo of two standalone automated check-in gantries deployed in what looked to be a shopping mall. Mr Tan wrote: “Waste money on this, now can put in the museum”.

Read more here


Woman wears dress made out of FairPrice plastic bags, performs fashion model walk at FairPrice Finest supermarket

There are many ways to get creative, including, it seems, fashioning a dress from plastic FairPrice grocery bags.

A woman, who already made the news some months ago for a frock made of betting slips from Singapore Pools, recently caught people’s eyes once again with a floor-length plastic gown.

Read more here

Lee Kuan Yew lookalike seen at coffeeshop, netizens say, “He’s back!”

A video of a Lee Kuan Yew lookalike went viral on social media and WhatsApp messenger after many thought they were once again seeing Singapore’s founding Prime Minister in the flesh.

The eight-second clip showed a man resembling the late Mr Lee having a meal at a coffee shop. Clad in a singlet and pants, and sporting a similar hairstyle to his doppelgänger, the elderly man seemed unaware of the video being taken.

Within a short while, after it was posted, netizens had a field day in the comments section.

Many netizens also quoted Mr Lee, who said in 1988: “And even from my sickbed, even if you are going to lower me into the grave and I feel that something is going wrong, I will get up.”

Here’s what they said:

President Halimah Yacob inaugurates solo exhibit of Cultural Medallion winner, artist Goh Beng Kwan

“My heartiest congratulations to Mr Goh on the opening of #GBK85. I hope that your exhibition will inspire many Singaporeans and bring communities together,” wrote President Halimah Yacob on Thursday (May 19).

Mdm Halimah was the guest of honour at the landmark solo exhibition #GBK85 of pioneer-generation artist and Cultural Medallion recipient Goh Beng Kwan. Together with other dignitaries, the President cut the ribbon during the ceremony held at the grand lobby of Conrad Centennial Singapore.

Official opening of the #GBK85 exhibition on May 19, 2022. From left to right: Mr. Mike Williamson, General Manager, Conrad Centennial Singapore, Ms. Alexandra Murray, Area Vice President, Head of South East Asia, Hilton, Mr. Kwee Liong Seen, Director, Pontiac Land Group, President Halimah Yacob, Mr. Goh Beng Kwan, and Dr. Ong Say How, Board Member, Singapore Association for Mental Health. Image courtesy of ArtAF / Caroline Chia.

Mr Goh, now 85, is an inspiration as well as a living legend for many younger artists in Singapore. Art has been his lifelong passion.

In the 1950s, he was taught by first-generation senior artist Chen Wen Hsi at Hwa Chong High School. He never gave up on his dreams of being an artist, even though he failed the final exam of his Art class.

Mr Goh studied at the Arts Students League of New York from 1962 to 1966, holding his first solo exhibition at the Ruth Sherman Gallery in that city in 1965.

While he found success in New York, he nevertheless came back to Singapore to take care of his ageing parents.

In 1982, his work “The Dune” won the first UOB Painting of the Year, and the artist received the Cultural Medallion in 1989.

#GBK85 spans the decades-long career of the artist, featuring 80 of his works along with new Augmented Reality (AR) works viewable through the ArtAF app.

The exhibit runs from May 20 to May 29. Tickets are available through Eventbrite, with a portion of each ticket to be donated to the Singapore Association for Mental Health (SAMH).

Mdm Halimah said that the artist’s “lifetime of creative achievement… has made our nation proud and inspired generations. Art enriches each of us in different ways. It can create a sense of wonder, challenge perceptions and assumptions, or provide enjoyment. Art brings communities together, uplifting our spirits and giving tangible expression to our heritage, values, and identity.” 

“I believe art is meant to be shared, and I thank Madam President and the National Arts Council for the support they have shown over the years,” said Mr Goh, who added that “As society turns more and more towards technology, so does art. I am excited to keep my practice current through technology, particularly AR and NFT, and thought collaborations with the rising generation of Singapore artists.”

In a Facebook post on Thursday, Mdm Halimah called Mr Goh, “a renowned Singapore pioneer artist who has devoted his life to making art, Mr Goh is an inspiration to many young artists in Singapore…”

“… #GBK85 showcases 85 of Mr Goh’s works, marking a milestone for the 85-year-old Cultural Medallion winner.” /TISG

President Halimah commends mosque that opened doors to people sleeping rough

Read also:

Cultural Medallion winner explains how MDA kills the arts scene in Singapore 

Cultural Medallion winner threatened with imprisonment for bringing David Bowie here in 80s – Both died on the same date – Singapore News 

Cultural Medallion winner Ivan Heng and his husband censored from Today newspaper’s special Valentine’s Day feature – Singapore News 

 

Sharon Au is ‘starting from zero again’ after Paris burglars ‘took everything’

Former actress Sharon Au says she hasn’t been sleeping well after burglars made their way into her Paris apartment late last month and they “took everything.” In her latest Instagram post on May 16, Ms Au, 47, wrote that she’s “been having nightmares.”

The burglary appears to have been particularly traumatic for the multi-awarded former MediaCorp actress, who’s been working as an investment director in a private equity firm in France since 2018. However, after the burglary, she has since resigned from her job.

On May 12, she posted a photo of herself holding her beloved cat, Rudon, in her arms.

“My apartment was broken into 11 days ago. 30 April 2022. They took everything I love. I have nothing now.”

Fortunately, Rudon, whom she described as “the love of my life, the one thing that money cannot buy” is all right, although she wrote that he is still “traumatised by the invasion.  Even the slightest sound startles him now,” she added.

Ms Au managed to find a silver lining amid her difficulties, writing, “I thank God that he is safe, unhurt, and did not run away. He waited for me to come home.”

Nevertheless, she wrote that it took her “11 days to pen this note, without crying. Starting from zero. Again. This is life,” she added, heartbreakingly.

In the days that followed the burglary, Ms Au posted a series of photos.

In one, she had Rudon on her lap as she was typing on her laptop, which was unfortunately stolen. She captioned the photo by writing “I can’t write my next column for @zaobao.sg.”

In another, she wrote that five days after the incident, her laptop’s FindMyMac feature had alerted her to its exact location. But when she told the Paris police, she was told that they were “too busy” and “had bigger crimes to solve.”

The alert showed that it was 64 kilometres outside of Paris.

On Vesak Day, the former actress shared that her nightmares “seem to be telling me ‘Keep searching, and you will find your way out.’”

Friends and fans, many of whom are from the entertainment industry, showed Ms Au a lot of love and support.

/TISG 

Actor Desmond Tan weds, but is his bride former TV host/actor Sharon Au?

‘The force is strong with you’ — Netizens tell WP MP Leon Perera after his ride in Star Wars-themed GrabCar that ‘made his evening’

An encounter with Grogu, aka Baby Yoda from the immensely popular The Mandalorian series, warmed the cockles of Workers’ Party Member of Parliament Leon Perera (Aljunied GRC) recently.

Not the real Grogu, of course, but a talking toy version of the popular character, who gave the MP “an audible greeting” when he hopped inside a Star Wars-themed GrabCar. A delighted Mr Perera thanked the driver for “making my evening!”

“Life is not always easy. Whenever I meet people who inject a bit of cheer and good humour into their work, it warms the cockles of my heart!,” he added in a May 18 Facebook post, quoting a phrase that fellow WP MP Jamus Lim made popular during the July 2020 General Election.

The Grogu toy in the GrabCar appears to be Hasbro’s Star Wars The Child Animatronic version, which, adorably, makes over 25 different sounds plus a number of head and arm movements, demonstrated in the video below.

Aside from Grogu, there were many other Star Wars figures in the vehicle, including Darth Vader, Han Solo, C3PO, Chewbacca and a small battalion of stormtroopers. 

Mr Perera’s post delighted many netizens, including Assoc Prof Lim, who commented that the GrabCar warmed the cockles of his heart as well.

This, of course, led to some good-natured ribbing from netizens.

There were also many Star Wars-themed comments as well, including one who said, “Wah…the force is strong with you…managed to get a Grab at night!!”

Other commenters who have taken the same Grab Car chimed in as well.

/TISG

S’pore Army & Police STAR WARS day posts draw ridicule & criticisms

Participating vs. Non-participating Endowment Insurance Plan in Singapore for You

What Is an Endowment Plan?

An endowment plan is a two-for-one product. It provides insurance coverage but also bonuses based on investment returns. Before you go running for the hills, endowment plans are not the same as the infamous investment-linked plans. The two are quite different, but more on that later.

Endowment plans are policies that give you insurance coverage and act as a savings plan. Their primary aim is to help you meet your financial goals. This can include saving up for your children’s future education or preparing a decent sum of money for a happy retirement. Many buy endowment plans for exactly those reasons.

An endowment plan has the potential to be very useful to you, provided you understand exactly what you are signing up for.

Endowment Insurance Plans
Monthly Premium Payment
Fixed Maturity Time
Comes with a Life Insurance Component
Some Guaranteed Money
Short-Term and Long Term Plans Available

Characteristics of Endowment Plans

Before diving into the various policies out there, it is important to understand what endowment plans are. The majority of the endowment plans on the market today have these traits in common:

1. Regular Premiums

Endowment plans need you to pay regular premiums throughout the duration of the plan. These payments can be monthly, quarterly, or even annually. The amount you pay for this premium may also differ from policy to policy. Nonetheless, recurring payments are commonplace when it comes to endowment plans.

2. It Is an Insurance Plan

All endowment plans come with an insurance component (usually life insurance). When you pay that monthly premium, a part of that money goes into your insurance coverage and whatever is left goes into an investment fund. Each company and plan may differ in the exact ratio of investment to insurance.

3. Fixed Maturity Period

Endowment plans run for a pre-allocated amount of time, ranging from three to twenty years. Short-term plans, like the Tiq 3-year plan, are much rarer since investments tend to do better in the long run.

Once your plan matures, you will receive payment. Sometimes, consumers do not know the exact amount they will be receiving. Providers will usually quote a sum when you sign up, which is the smallest amount you will get once the plan matures.

Do note that this value may be smaller than the sum of your premiums, depending on the type of endowment plan.

Introduction to Participating Versus Non-participating Endowment Plans

Then you might ask: what are the types of endowment plans available? True to the title, there are primarily two types of endowment plans – participating and non-participating. Both of these can vary in many ways, and it is important to understand the difference between the two.

Participating Endowment Plans

When you sign up for a participating endowment plan, you are agreeing to have a share in the profits of an investment fund. So, you will be provided dividends determined by the performance of the fund. Payout consists of two parts:

1. The Sum Assured

This is a fixed amount of money you are promised. Once you cash out after the policy matures, you are guaranteed this sum in full.

2. Non-guaranteed Benefits

Non-guaranteed benefits are any bonuses from the investment fund. This depends on how well the fund performs, so these can be high but also very low. Insurers typically provide clients with an estimate of how much money they stand to gain based on past results, but none of this is guaranteed.

How do Participating Endowment Plans work?

A fraction of the premium paid by all the policyholders will be pooled together into a single fund. This will then be invested into various assets like corporate bonds, properties, and many more. Every insurance provider has a different strategy, but they all have one goal: to have large returns for the policyholder and the company.

Bonuses

There are three main types of bonuses you stand to gain should you decide to sign up for a participating endowment plan.

1. Reversionary Bonuses

Your policy provider will regularly declare a reversionary bonus. Reversionary means ‘right to own’ and so once a reversionary bonus is declared you will have a right to that amount. This bonus will be added to the guaranteed sum of your policy. In other words, if a policy provider declares a reversionary bonus, you are assured this money in full.

2. Cash Dividends

On the other hand, cash dividends do not contribute to the assured sum. Instead, these are immediate cash payments which the policyholder can choose to withdraw, apply to future premiums, or reinvest with the provider.

3. Terminal Bonuses

Not to be confused with reversionary bonuses, a terminal bonus is a payable lump sum you may get once your policy matures or when you make a claim. Terminal means ‘at the end’ and so a terminal bonus is another bonus you stand to gain after the maturity period.

Surrendering a Participating Policy

As the insurance component of an endowment plan is life insurance, the cost of prematurely ending a policy is extremely high.

Furthermore, the payout you will get may be very low, or less than the sum of the premiums paid thus far. This payout comes from a cash build-up of declared bonuses. Usually, this only occurs after a minimum period, and the value of the cash build-up may not be much less than the premiums you have paid so far.

Hence, it is recommended that you are ready for consistent premiums and the high commitment that comes with the plan before you sign up for it.

Is Participating Endowment and Investment-Linked the Same Thing?

Short answer: no. They are similar in the sense that they both have investments involved and are frequently confused with one another.

In an investment-linked plan, you are not guaranteed any returns upfront. In comparison, a participating endowment plan guarantees you a baseline sum. You will receive at least this baseline sum in full once the policy matures. Any other investment-linked benefits fall under non-guaranteed bonuses and are simply extra treats.

There are more differences between the two, but for the most part, the sum assured is where they diverge the most.

Benefits and Risks of Participating Endowment Plans

The benefits of such plans are plenty.

1. Grow Savings and Get Insurance

A participating endowment plan can be great for people looking to grow their savings as well as get an insurance package. It may be cheaper than attempting to do both individually.

2. Safer option than investing on your own

Insurance providers typically hire seasoned professionals to take charge of the investment fund. Since money is pooled from other policyholders, the portfolio of a fund can be diversified, making returns much more stable. Participating endowment plans are considered a low-risk investment.

But, just as traditional investments are risky, so is a participating endowment plan.

3. Risk of Small Returns

Markets are volatile and losses may be all too real. This is why many people steer clear of participating endowment plans, especially when the sum guaranteed is smaller than the total premium you pay. A participating endowment plan is not for the faint-hearted.

Non-participating Endowment Plans

Non-participating endowment plans are fairly simple, as these do not include any non-guaranteed benefits.

As a policyholder, you will not be entitled to any profit the company makes, and the money you receive when the policy matures is guaranteed. There is no investment involved. So if you are risk-averse and prefer to be on the safer side, a non-participating endowment plan can be something for you to consider.

Surrendering a Non-participating Policy

Like its participating counterpart, the cost of prematurely liquidating a non-participating policy is also very high. Additionally, non-participating policies may not have any surrender value as there are no declared bonuses. It is important to do your research and understand how much you may actually receive if you wish to prematurely cash in your policy.

Here’s our advice: don’t.

Key Takeaways

Summary of Participating Versus Non-participating Policies

Participating Non-Participating
More Risky Less Risky
Stand to Gain Initial Sum and Additional Bonuses Stand to Gain Only Initial Sum Assured
Potentially Higher Surrender Value Potentially Lower Surrender Value

Are Endowment Plans For You?

Yes No
You need insurance coverage You already have insurance coverage
You need a relatively stable investment You are looking for high returns (redirect to stocks or SSB)
You are ready to commit long term You should not be making long commitment

Conclusion

Depending on your current financial situation, saving habits and future life goals, endowment plans can be something worth considering for all the benefits they provide their holders. If you want to learn more, check out some of the best endowment plans here. Regardless of whether you choose to sign up for an endowment plan, we hope that this article has helped you become better informed to make the best choice for you.


The article Participating Versus Non-participating: Find the Best Endowment Insurance Plan in Singapore for You originally appeared on ValueChampion.

 

Woman starts fundraising campaign to make her boobs bigger

A woman has been working extremely hard to gain attention on TikTok to make her little boobs campaign viral. This is to assist her in raising funds to make her boobs bigger.

Hailey Marie came to TikTok to lament about her little breasts and say she was still wearing the same bra size she was when she was eight years old.

@_haileyjay

Just going to keep posting until it goes viral in support of small boobs #fyp #plasticsurgery

♬ original sound – Hailey Marie

And, to everyone’s amazement, her mission to generate money for a breast operation is succeeding.

“Just going to keep uploading until it goes viral in support of petite boobs,” Hailey Marie (@ haileyjay) captioned a popular clip she posted to the platform.

“If you’re seeing this and your bra size hasn’t changed since the very first bra you bought when you were eight years old, this one’s for you,” she explained to her 1.7 million viewers.

“The bigger, more muscular, older I get, the smaller they’re getting,” Hailey added. “I’m seriously not kidding. It’s f**king ridiculous.”

“Clearly, not all of us have been graced with big juicy jugs, but we have been graced with f**king brains, and if we put them together, do you understand how many boob jobs we could all give to one another?

“All I’m asking is for 10,000 people to send me $1 so we can get this b**ch rolling,” she said, adding that if her scheme goes to plan, she will send another girl to “get her boob job” the following month.

So far, she managed to raise a total of $4,666 on PayPal and Venmo. This was at the time she posted the viral video.

And she made it into the New York Post with a headline saying, “Woman who wore same bra size since 8 years old crowdfunds boob job.”


The post On TikTok, a woman campaigns on behalf of small boobs! appeared first on The Independent News.

Woman reveals her breast implants are mouldy, removes implants after suspecting they were causing illness

Help, my mother-in-law feeds my 8mth old baby fast food, gives away my clothes and does not respect boundaries, husband sides his mum too

A woman whose mother-in-law knew not the meaning of boundaries took to social media after she had enough.

In an anonymous post on popular confessions page SGWhispers on Sunday (May 15), the woman wrote that she felt “so fed up with a marriage where my MIL does not respect boundaries”. She qualified her post by saying that her mother-in-law (MIL) was “nice” but went on to add that her MIL would feed her 8-month-old child fast food.

Referring to her child as ‘LO’, the daughter-in-law wrote: “Milk, she insists on using formula because “convenient”, but LO is used to & prefers to look for me for feeds. She fed my LO water before 6mths old. Even though we told her not to. She fed my 2yo nephew coffee saying that there’s no cream or sugar. Just pure coffee. I don’t understand. Do kids drink coffee nowadays?”

The woman added that she was stressed out because her husband would often take the side of his mother. However, the daughter-in-law explained in her post that she has spoken to her mother-in-law before, letting “her know of our discomfort & decision not to introduce certain food to LO. Some are unhealthy, some are choking hazards. But she repeatedly ignored what I have said & feed LO”.

“Not just that. Today she gave 2 of my clothes to my SIL”, the woman wrote, adding that she had brought clothes over to her mother-in-law’s house as she was staying there. Because her mother-in-law thought that she was not wearing certain clothes, she had taken the liberty of giving them away, the woman wrote.

“I can’t bear to wear them. Now they are given to someone else to wear. I’m heartbroken ????” the woman wrote.

In her post, she asked netizens for advice on what to do about her mother-in-law who did not respect boundaries, and “husband that does not understand his mum & no matter what, sides with her more”.

Here’s what netizens said:

Last month, another woman who was fed up with her mother-in-law wrote to netizens asking them for advice on her situation.

In a social media post on Mar 15, one Ms P wrote about how her mother-in-law is often the one to create problems “but turn around play victim and act like she is so forgiving”.

She also wrote that her mother-in-law was often two-faced, behaving well in front of others, only to curse them behind their backs.

The woman wrote that her mother-in-law even cursed her husband to go off to Vietnam and pray because she found him to be a big burden.

“I know about her disgusting behaviour some time back and decided to stay clear of her. Even seeing her once a week for one hour is a torture,” the daughter-in-law wrote.

“Since she turns 60, she always tell her child, ‘mummy will die very soon, mummy so old already’. But she is 72 now, still very much alive and kicking and creating havoc in the family,” she added.

Read the full story here:

Woman asks netizens: ‘How to get along with an extremely nasty, extremely sly and passive-aggressive mother in-law?’