SINGAPORE: A father of a 6-month-old who seemed to regret having a child suddenly stopped helping to take care of the infant.
In an anonymous post to popular confessions page SGWhispers, the man’s wife asked: “I was just wondering if this is normal in all married couples? That the husband regretted having a baby”.
She wrote that she and her husband had been married for three years and added that she gave birth to a child six months ago. “We have everything planned out. Since we are both working, we get our parents to babysit when we work and we’ll take over after we ended work. As for weekend, we take turns to take care of the baby and do housework. We agreed that we both can get a weekend “off” every 2 or 3 months and we’ll get our parents to babysit”, she wrote.
She added that while things were going well at first, about a month ago, her husband started to complain about waking up at night to feed the child.
“He said he is tired and feels ‘overwhelmed’. He wished to go out during the weekend and hinted me to take care of the baby alone. I told him it’s ok to take one weekend off to work on himself. He went out drinking with his friends that weekend, got home drunk and needed me to take care of him as well as the baby”, the woman wrote.
Because her husband had a hangover the next day, she said that he was irritable and that she had to take care of everything by herself. The following weekend, he made plans to go out with his friends again. When she said that it was not fair to her, he reluctantly cancelled the plan.
“He was very perfunctory when doing the housework. I actually caught him just mopping some of the “main” areas of the room and then claim it’s done. When the baby cries, he was reluctant to get away from his phone or he will wait for me to go first because he knows I care a lot about the baby”, she wrote.
When she spoke to her husband about the issue, he said he did not expect that having a baby would be so tiring and require so much sacrifice.
“I told him it’s our joint decision and our responsibilities as parents. He kept citing his sacrifices, as if I didn’t make a single sacrifice! In the end the conversation just ended with no solution as both of us felt “wronged”. I am honestly hurt by how he seems to push all the responsibility to me when we both are working. At the same time, am wondering is it normal for husbands to regret having a baby?” she wrote in her post.
Netizens who commented on her post said this issue was commonplace in Singapore, which was why many young couples would hire a domestic helper to assist their child. Here’s what they wrote:
Earlier this year, a woman in a ‘situationship’ since 2016 felt tired of leading a double life with her sugar daddy and wanted to return to her husband. That is, after enjoying $5,000 a month and a car for years.
In an anonymous post to confessions page SGWhispers, the woman said that she met her sugar daddy at work, where he was one of the company’s shareholders. She was in her late 20s, and he was in his early 40s. “He’s “unhappily” married (as they always claimed), I was unhappily about to get married because family/peer pressured(Sin’s culture of get married bcos of BTO)”, she added.