SINGAPORE: A woman shared a deeply traumatic account of her marriage on social media, revealing the stark contrast between her husband’s flawless public image and his abusive behaviour behind closed doors.
In a raw and emotional post on the NUSWhispers Facebook page on Monday (Jan 13), she explained that, on the surface, her husband seemed perfect.
He had graduated with first-class honours in Civil Engineering from the National University of Singapore (NUS) and was highly regarded at work for his generosity.
He would often treat colleagues to restaurant meals and always played the part of a helpful, kind gentleman in front of them. However, when he comes home to her, he switches personalities and becomes “narcissistic and miser.”
“I’m suffering from emotional, financial, and verbal abuse by him. He turns off the electricity, water, and gas supply at home whenever I go against his wishes,” she said.
“He forces me to sleep on the floor, claiming he paid for the bed. I also have to eat on the floor because he bought the furniture.”
Moreover, she said that her husband would purposely scold her in front of the neighbours to embarrass her and to make it appear that “she was the one who was causing trouble.”
As for his generosity, she also never got to see this side of him. “He’s unwilling to spend money at home. I have been paying for the food, electricity bills and household items for years,” she wrote.
She also never got to celebrate any festive seasons (Chinese New Year, Christmas, and even her birthday) because her husband told her it was unnecessary. “What he thinks is most important. He makes all the decisions,” she said.
As if the emotional strain wasn’t enough, her husband also imposed unrealistic expectations on her, demanding that she “keep the house sparkling clean like a 5-star hotel.”
Whenever things didn’t meet his impossibly high standards, her husband would place the blame entirely on her and punish her with “cold treatments.”
The manipulation didn’t stop there. Her husband made terrifying threats regarding her 80-year-old mother.
“He threatened me a number of times that he would tell my mum, who is in her 80s, that her daughter is the cause of this failed marriage. I was told that if my mum dies of a heart attack after hearing from him, I’m the cause of my own mother’s death,” she said.
“Very often, he brainwashed me that whatever misfortunes happened, I must be the reason. He would tell his colleagues and people that I’m the evil-hearted wife,” she continued.
The woman said that whenever she tried to seek help from others, her husband would bombard her phone with multiple messages, attempting to reassert control over her mind and emotions and continuing to manipulate her back into submission.
“He told me that if he needed to pay alimony, he would run away from Singapore to avoid paying because he has first-class honours from NUS. He can easily get a job anywhere in the world,” she added.
“Do not allow anyone else to mistreat you…”
In the comments, many people were shocked and outraged by the abuse the woman described. Some urged her to install cameras at home to gather evidence, while others went even further, advising her to leave her husband for her own safety and mental well-being.
One individual said, “Nobody deserves this. You are strong enough to leave. Whether you have a kid or not, it doesn’t matter; just take them with you and leave. The kids don’t deserve this life; you definitely don’t deserve this life. You only have one life. Live it well.”
Another commented, “Be brave and take your leave. He can treat you this way because you are weak. Do not allow anyone else to mistreat you.” A few also urged her to reach out to social workers or non-profit organizations for support.
One individual wrote, “You need external help immediately! Please approach AWARE to see how they can help you. You are kinda ‘enslaved’ by him in the marriage, and it’s not healthy! I hope you can resolve your situation soon.”
Still, a few were a bit sceptical about the woman’s story. One individual expressed, “Your version of the story is suspicious and one-sided.”
AWARE Singapore
If you or someone you know is going through a similar situation or facing domestic violence, AWARE Singapore is here to help. They’re a trusted non-profit organization that supports those dealing with abusive situations.
You can contact AWARE by calling their helpline at 1800 777 5555 from Monday to Friday between 10 am and 6 pm.
If you’re in an unsafe environment where calling might put you at risk, you can opt to reach out to them via their website and schedule an appointment for an online chat.
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)