SINGAPORE: A Singaporean woman took to social media on Saturday (Jan 11) to share that her parents still grudge against her sibling, who decided to forgo a wedding banquet years ago.
In a post on Reddit’s ‘Ask Singapore’ forum, she explained that her sibling married before the COVID-19 pandemic and opted for a simple ROM (Registry of Marriages) ceremony without hosting a traditional banquet.
This decision, however, did not go down well with their parents, who, as she described, are “still harping about it to this day.”
“They say my sibling is unfilial, ungrateful, doesn’t know how to honour parents, yada yada. They will likely continue until they enter their graves,” she wrote. “I can’t help but feel very resentful about the whole thing.”
She said that she understood that wedding banquets are a big deal in terms of honouring parents and “saving face” (preserving family pride) but at the same time, she felt marriage should really be about the couple and what they want, not about giving in to societal or family pressures.
“Did you throw a wedding banquet in Singapore for your parents/in-laws when you got married despite not wanting to? Isn’t marriage meant to be a celebration of union between 2 people?” she asked.
“Is it better to just suck it up and throw a banquet to save yourself from a lifetime of nagging/blaming?” she added.
“I hated the idea of a wedding dinner. I just wanted to sign the papers…”
In the discussion thread, plenty of users chimed in to share their own experiences of having to deal with the pressure of throwing a wedding banquet in Singapore.
Some shared that they caved in and went ahead with a banquet they didn’t want just to appease their family, in-laws, and/or relatives.
One user said, “Yes, I did for my in-laws. Both my parents and I do not want to hold the banquet. I felt I was a puppet. The zombie that day… Worse day of my life.”
Another shared, “Getting married soon, I hated the idea of a wedding dinner. I just wanted to sign the papers, have a simple church ceremony and start the honeymoon. In-laws hate it. Made our lives miserable.
Reached the compromise of them paying for the tables they wanted, and they got to keep the angpaos, while we paid for the tables of our close relatives. Still hate the idea of a wedding dinner, but I can stomach it for a night.”
Still, a few shared more positive experiences, noting that their parents encouraged them to plan their weddings according to their own wishes.
One user wrote, “Personally, my parents don’t expect a ceremony and want me to do what I want. I am grateful for that, but I also think it should be the norm.
In my opinion, banquets are cringey as hell (with the dancing with sunglasses, cringy baby photo videos, and waking up at 6 am to do superstitious ceremonies), and I’m fine paying $300 to watch my friends go through it.
Still, I would personally prefer something small and classier.”
Elopements and Destination weddings are on the rise
A survey by Skyscanner Travel Trends and Destination Expert, Cyndi Hui revealed that more Gen Z couples in Singapore are moving away from traditional wedding ceremonies and banquets, opting instead for elopements to celebrate their love.
The survey found that 14% of respondents have either chosen or are considering elopement weddings.
It also highlighted the growing popularity of destination weddings, with 39% of couples preferring a more intimate celebration, 38% seeking a unique and personal ceremony, and 37% motivated by cost-saving benefits.
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)