SINGAPORE: A woman recently asked on r/sgdatingscene, a Reddit forum, whether it’s normal for a relationship to turn stale after only two years of dating.

She added, “What if one party does not put in effort to make new memories anymore? Is it usual for guys to stop putting in as much effort as they used to?”

In the comments section, several users shared that it’s not uncommon for relationships to experience periods of stagnation, especially after the initial excitement fades.

One user commented, “The question I would ask is that in the first 2 years of dating, did you put in effort too? A lot of women act super passive in their relationship, almost like they are just there for the ride along rather than lead the relationship in any sense.

“There is a strong expectation on men to do all the planning and execution in a relationship. And this can cause some men to put in less effort over the years because if the result is the same regardless of effort, why bother?”

Another commented, “A lot of times, guys start off super enthusiastic. At a level that they just can’t maintain and at the same time, they make all these promises which they can’t keep half the time.

“As a guy, I was very aware of this when going into a relationship and thus I did not make promises and controlled my initial enthusiasm.”

Others suggested that the woman take a step back and really think about whether this is the person she wants to spend her life with. They encouraged her to consider if she feels comfortable just being with him in silence and what it might be like if he doesn’t put in more effort in the future.

On the flip side, they also recommended that she talk to her partner about her worries and see if they can work things out together moving forward.

What to do when your relationship feels stale after 2 years

A 2003 study by Richard Lucas and his team found that the initial excitement of falling in love tends to fade after about two years, at which point happiness levels often return to where they were before the relationship started.

While this can feel like a ‘stale’ phase, it’s actually a common and natural part of long-term relationships. This shift can actually signal a move towards a more comfortable and stable phase, where the couple has settled into a deeper, more enduring connection.

To make this transition smoother, therapists recommend trying out these four things:

Step out of your comfort zones. Spice things up with your partner by trying something new and exciting together. Excitement is a powerful emotion that can reignite those feelings of passion and connection. So step outside your comfort zone and try an activity that’s totally out of the ordinary.

Show them that you still care. Get to know what truly excites your partner—their passions, goals, and dreams—and be there to cheer them on. Encourage them, support them, and celebrate their wins together. Helping each other go after what matters most can bring you closer and make for some awesome shared memories.

Hug them from time to time. Research also shows that increasing nonsexual touch—like holding hands, hugging, or gentle touches—can strengthen feelings of connection and support in a relationship.

Do things together. Go out for a movie, take a walk in the park, or plan regular date nights together. Even a simple coffee or dinner after work can keep the spark alive. Make sure to put in the effort and not take your partner for granted—it’s the little moments that make a big difference.

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