SINGAPORE: A 25-year-old man took to social media asking for advice after his 20-year-old ex-girlfriend refused to pay back the 5-figure debt she owed him. In an anonymous post to popular confessions page NUSWhispers, the man wanted to know how to recuperate his money.
He added that they were together for about two years and while she was a student, he was a working adult who financially supported her. “Now that she had graduated and transitioned to adult life, she found a job in the design industry. Things were difficult as they work on a comms basis and do not have a fixed salary. Dates were mostly paid for by me until recently she started to fork out some of her own share. During the first week of work, she needed a laptop, so I bought a MacBook for her (initially was mentioned to be paid on an instalment basis but I guess she took it as a graduation gift and I as a supportive BF left it as it is)”.
The man wrote that his ex-girlfriend also needed a car to meet clients so she used her family car for work, but would ask him for money for petrol and to pay for her season parking. He also paid for her gym membership. “However, the money I am writing today is not about the money that I have paid for during our time together, but the money she had borrowed for her own needs (e.g., paying off outside debts, and fixing her car, etc)” he explained.
He added that they recently had an argument where he said that he felt neglected since they would only meet once every few weeks. After that argument, she ghosted him for two weeks, and he had no choice but to break up with her as they were due to go on a family trip together.
The man explained that things were so dire that he just wanted a clean break. “But when I mentioned the money that she owed, she left me on single tick and did not answer my messages at all. Now I just want my money back. I do not care for the money we had spent together during our time; I just want those that she legitimately borrowed from me. To be honest, all the money that I have spent on her amounts to much more than this (birthday trips, my dinners, luxury gifts), but I just want those that she had borrowed because it is still not a small amount”, he wrote.
Netizens who commented on his post told him that he should move on without the money. One said, “My advice is to treat it as a lesson learned and move on. You’re still young and you will easily recoup the money through future earnings. A 60 year old version of you won’t have that luxury. Just be glad you’re learning this lesson while still young”.
Another commented similarly: “You won’t get your money back. Lesson learned, date an independent women who can support her own lifestyle and not leeches that want to lead a lifestyle but cannot afford and need to depend on others to support. In other words just open your eyes big on your next relationship. If the girl expect you to pay for everything every time, get out quick. It’s a big big red flag . All the best to you”.