This past week was a time of festivities, with Christmas and the coming New Year. There were parties, family gatherings, and social get-togethers galore. There were even constituency parties!
For example, former Members of Parliament for Hougang Single Member Constituency (SMC) — Low Thia Khiang and Png Eng Huat joined current Hougang SMC member of parliament Dennis Tan to celebrate Christmas with a Christmas party following the re-opening of the Block 710 Senior Residents’ Corner after its recent renovation on Christmas Eve.
For some, this was a wonderful period of connecting, while for others, it was a struggle with loneliness and isolation. And, even with those who enjoyed the socialising, it can still be a tiring and overwhelming experience.
Yet, how aware are we as a nation about managing our own mental health? And, how sensitive are we to the mental health concerns of others? In addition, what resources are there available to those who may need a hand?
Even as society has become more open, many still struggle with admitting to mental health concerns – both to themselves or their loved ones. Without facing up to our own issues, it becomes difficult to seek help and the problem snowballs.
It is no secret that Singapore has its fair share of mental health concerns. For example, a boy was recently caught on a CCTV camera throwing a community cat off a Housing and Development Board (HDB) block at Boon Lay Avenue. The public was understandably outraged, which led to a petition circulating online to seek justice for the unfortunate feline.
While cruelty should be punished, what needs to also come into the equation is the issue of mental health and what support is at hand to address these concerns to reduce these incidences of cruelty, as one reader of The Independent Singapore points out: “I feel a sense of double sadness for the death of a community cat, recently “murdered” by a 10-year-old boy in Boon Lay Avenue.
This incident was not merely a loss of an adorable and pitiful animal’s life, but it also warrants our worries and concerns about the boy’s unusual and wicked behaviour… Therefore, the parents concerned and the problematic boy/child need serious and long-term counselling from a professional psychiatrist…”
A survey, which was commissioned in commemoration of International Men’s Day on Nov 19 this year, also revealed that due to the high expectations placed on men in Singapore, it made it harder for them to seek help for mental health issues. The survey found seven out of 10 of the 1,000 respondents aged 16 to 54 said they expected men to be more emotionally resilient than women.
Sabrina Ooi, Calm Collective Asia’s co-founder and CEO, said, “We are culturally and socially conditioned to place unrealistic expectations on men … They’re expected to appear strong, stoic, and ’emotionally resilient”.
These are unfair and unrealistic expectations. Emotional resilience is not about repressing one’s emotions but embracing them fully and turning to support systems for help. In that way, we can deal with it healthily instead of suppressing it as it manifests in other toxic ways, which could lead to anti-social behaviours or acts of violence.
With this in mind, it is extremely encouraging to see public figures such as actress, Rui En, talking about mental health issues. Not only has she publicly addressed the topic, but she has also openly admitted to her own struggles.
“I personally have felt devastatingly alone despite being surrounded by people, on Christmas and New Year’s countless times before,”
She even attended a ‘pizza party’ for those who felt lonely and alone this holiday to show solidarity.
In the wake of Rui En’s example, perhaps some of our high-profile men can also speak out?
Mental health concerns are real, and it is imperative for all of us to look after our own mental health, to be honest with ourselves, to speak out, and most of all, to be compassionate – to ourselves and to others.
As the saying goes: “Compassion is free.”