SINGAPORE: After two unsuccessful dates—one with a man who flaunted his wealth and another with a man clueless about financial planning—a woman took to social media. How important is it to have “similar finance values when it comes to dating, relationships and eventually leading to marriage?” she asked fellow Singaporeans.
Posting on the r/sgdatingscene forum on Monday (March 3), she shared how her first date wasted no time bringing up money. Before they had even sat down, he asked, “So what kind of house do you want? A 3/4/5-room BTO? Resale? Condo? I can afford them all.”
“And he was flexing his Rolex in front of me, which I found quite…. perhaps not my cup of tea, to put things in a polite way,” she wrote.
The second date, however, was the complete opposite. Instead of boasting about his wealth, this man admitted he had no interest in handling money at all and fully expected his future partner to take care of all financial matters.
“He then proceeded to ask about housing – and asked me what does COV/ freehold means in property…. All in all, my body didn’t feel good vibes after spending time with him despite our conversation. Friend material – ok, but most definitely not like long-term, romantic partner material,” she said.
“He gave me the impression that he’s okay with his 2 diplomas, doesn’t want to further his studies, very contented with his salary and wants things to ‘remain the same,’” she added.
These two experiences left her wondering if she was being too particular about the financial aspect.
The woman mentioned that she didn’t expect her future partner to be “the sole provider” as she was perfectly capable of earning her own keep and was more than happy to treat her significant other from time to time.
But, at the same time, she wanted a partner who was financially savvy, someone who understood investments and had a solid grasp of money management.
She then asked for the opinions of others in the forum, writing: “Am I being too sensitive, especially about my values in finances?
“I don’t believe in being too stingy but also cannot be living paycheck to paycheck or paying minimum sum for credit card bills….. and gotta keep on striving for improvement each day, cannot be stagnant….”
“Financial compatibility is important”
In the discussion thread, many told the woman that she was not being too sensitive, validating her belief that financial compatibility is an important factor in a long-term relationship.
Several commenters pointed out that differing attitudes towards money could lead to conflicts, especially when it came to major life decisions such as buying a home, planning for children, or saving for the future.
One user shared, “I think it’s is VERY important to have similar value of money with your partner. E.g. If you’re the kind to only take SQ but your partner only wants budget. Or you’re the kind who likes to stay in a hotel, but your partner thinks Airbnb is fine.
“This is going to be a difficult journey in the long run, trying to patch these differences. Like you, I cannot tahan if a guy has 0 sense of financial responsibility.”
Another commented, “Financial compatibility is important. Find someone you are aligned with.”
A third agreed and said, “It should be important, more so if they were considering children. I agree with your post.
“As a man, I get irritated if they wanted to be blatantly oblivious to concepts like investing into market capitalization weighted equity ETFs and financial responsibility.”
Financial compatibility
According to Forbes, financial compatibility is a key factor in a successful relationship. Having similar financial values or at least an understanding of each other’s attitudes towards money can help couples avoid unnecessary stress and conflict in the long run.
Also, when both partners are on the same page financially, they are more likely to work towards shared goals, make informed decisions together, and support each other’s financial well-being.