S’porean woman asks, ‘How can I (tactfully) sidestep kaypoh in-laws?’

SINGAPORE: A Singaporean woman recently turned to social media to ask, “How can I (tactfully) avoid nosy in-laws?”

In her post on r/SingaporeRaw, a Reddit forum, on Thursday (Jan 2), she explained that her partner’s parents have been probing into their lives so much that it’s starting to feel uncomfortable. 

She mentioned how they ask about things like her salary, work and personal address, and what she’s doing on any given day.

“Typically this would be fine, but they are very judgemental, and can also be very demanding and emotionally manipulative to my partner to get what they want,” she wrote.

“They expect to be also treated to fancy meals, showered with gifts from our personal holidays, 3-figure red packets for their birthdays, Father/Mother’s days, Christmas and CNY,” she added.

“So yeah we’re trying to steer clear from them as much as possible. Any advice on how to dodge such questions would be much appreciated!” she wrote.

‘Show interest in their lives too’

In the discussion thread, one user offered a somewhat humorous yet practical suggestion for dealing with nosy in-laws.

He wrote, “First rule of thumb is to just be a mute around them in general. Take very very very long to respond. Don’t make conversation. Use ‘idk’ or ‘I can’t remember’ often.

“Change topic halfway in case of emergency – ‘nice pants, I saw similar ones at xxx, but no size…’. ‘I need to go to the toilet.’ ‘Need to make a phone call.’ ‘Need to reply to work email.’ ‘I’m hungry. Anyone want anything? I’m going down to buy bubble tea.’ If all else fails, move overseas.”

Another user chimed in with a different suggestion, writing, “Show interest in their lives too. Keep asking questions so you get them to speak instead.”

A third recommended, “Turn the table on them and talk about potential investment opportunities/business ideas/insurance policies.”

In other news, a bride called off her wedding after the fiance’s mother gave her an ultimatum over pre-wedding photoshoot plans.

In an anonymous post on the NUSWhispers Facebook page, a friend of the couple shared that in the months leading up to the wedding, the bride faced a lot of pressure from the fiancé’s mother, who wanted her to stick to tradition.

“His mother insisted that the customs must be followed for good fortune,” the friend wrote. “The bride, on the other hand, was perplexed by this insistence, believing that culture and customs should evolve with society.”

Read more: Bride calls off wedding after fiancé’s mother gives ultimatum over pre-wedding photoshoot plans

Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)