SINGAPORE: A Singaporean man is having second thoughts about continuing his new relationship after the woman he’s dating asked him for money.
In a recent anonymous post on Reddit’s “Ask Singapore,” he opened up about his situation, explaining that the single mom he’s been dating for nearly two months unexpectedly asked him how he felt about providing her with some financial support each month.
“She has a much lower income than me, but she has been self-sufficient for the last 5 years,” he wrote. “I can easily support her full income with my income actually if we get married, but we’re only in the dating phase, so I didn’t want to commit to that.”
He recalled that they had previously discussed various concerns related to her child but the topic of him giving her money had never come up before. So when he asked her why she needed the extra cash, she explained that her family sometimes asks her for money too, and that her income just isn’t enough to keep up with all their expenses.
Although he has the means to provide her with the money—estimating that S$500 to S$1000 a month wouldn’t strain his finances—he expressed discomfort with the idea.
“I just felt that it’s very weird to be giving my girlfriend money every month like I’m having a sugar baby,” he said.
Moreover, he knows how tricky things can get when money and family are involved. He’s seen relationships get messy when one partner starts giving money to the other and their family, and he didn’t want to open that can of worms.
“I rejected her saying I can’t give her money while we’re only dating. Now she’s saying that our money values are different and we should reconsider the relationship,” he said. “Is this a red flag? Should I wake up?”
“She sees you as an ATM.”
In the comments section, most Singaporean Redditors shared that they totally understood where he was coming from and thought his feelings were completely valid.
They pointed out how important it is to set boundaries in a relationship, especially when it comes to money matters. A few Redditors even mentioned that it was pretty concerning that she was asking for financial support after only two months of dating.
One Redditor said, “Super red flag, lol. I’m married and even then I won’t ask my husband for money to support my family. Emergency help maybe, but never as an obligation. Asking for monthly allowance from a guy you’re just dating is… just run, dude. She sees you as an ATM.”
Another commented, “This is a huge red flag, and her response proved it. Whether you can afford it or not is a different thing. I am earning above medium wage and have dated men who earn more than twice of me—to me, it is also a red flag when they offer me money. Wake up.”
A third remarked, “2 months and she’s asking for money? Monthly??? Are you crazy? Red flag x 10. Leave the relationship. She’s obviously only looking for financial help and not for love. Don’t be a simp. You dodged a bullet.”
Still, there were a few others who expressed a different view, thinking that the woman might be testing him to figure out if he’s someone she can count on in the long run.
One Redditor commented, “Maybe she also wants to know whether you will eventually really support her, or how far you’d go or if you will be like other guys who only want relationships for nothing.
“I’m sure she also doesn’t want to waste time dating a man who thinks his money is all his money and won’t see the family and kid as his and will be calculative towards her.”
Another added, “No, it’s not [a red flag]. Just give if you enjoy spending time with her. What’s there to lose? The moment you don’t think it’s worth it, just move on then.”
Read also: Tourist complains on Reddit after finding out Singapore restaurants “don’t give free napkins”
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)