SINGAPORE: “Age difference between husband and wife – is this important?” the man wrote on r/askSingapore on Monday (April 15).

“… the biggest thing for her is that she is worried that I will die earlier and she will be left alone on this earth (yes morbid but sweet) and have no one to go out shopping with or watch movies or travel as by that time kids will already have their own life and partners and kids or whatever,” he wrote.

“For me, I think with her being so much younger than me means that she has a lot more energy than me to look after the kids!” he added.

Moreover, his wife previously told him that her ex-partners, who were either her age or slightly older by 2–4 years, were intimidated by her success, often because they were less accomplished as a result of the additional two years of mandatory national service (NS) they had to complete.

At the time, his wife was already a successful private banker who earned six figures per year. Although some of her exes have now achieved success, that small age gap posed a significant obstacle to her relationships back then.

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However, dating someone older and more mature, like him, was a refreshing change for her. She described him as “a breath of fresh air. So for our relationship, the age difference of 9 years has turned out to be somewhat important.”

“I don’t think it’s important. The key thing is that your mentality and values should line up”

In the discussion thread, Singaporean Redditors stated that the age difference shouldn’t be a big deal as long as both partners consent and are happy.

A few Redditors also gave some solid advice to the man about handling outside opinions. They pointed out that people have all sorts of views, particularly about relationships, and these opinions can sometimes be harsh and judgmental.

So, their suggestion was simple: don’t let these ‘worthless noise affect his relationship.’

One individual added, “Ignore and live your life, as long as you are happy I seriously couldn’t give less if one side is 20 years older or something.”

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Another commented, “I don’t think it’s important. The key thing is that your mentality and values should line up. I’m turning 30, and yes, dating guys close to my age seems impossible. All they want to do is still play around and not date seriously.

I don’t mind an older partner >5 years and above.”

Others emphasized the importance of not jumping to conclusions when they notice that a man (or a woman) is significantly older than his or her partner.

They urged others not to label ‘that person as a predator’ without fully understanding their relationship.

One Redditor also shared his own story, writing, “My wife and I are 11 years age difference. We married when I was 39 and she was 28. We’ve been married for 10 years now and the age difference has never been an issue.

From very different cultures, which occasionally has presented issues over the years. Flexibility and compromise has been the key to harmony. And a basically very similar life philosophies.”

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Is it healthy for couples to have a huge age gap?

Huge age gaps can cause issues in power dynamics and lead to criticism from family and society, but Choose Therapy says that these relationships can also be healthy and beneficial.

For example, as the man mentioned in the aforementioned post, his wife found it comforting to have an older partner who acknowledged her success without feeling threatened.

Additionally, older partners can offer valuable wisdom and a composed approach to handling obstacles due to their extensive life experiences.

In contrast, younger partners can bring fresh perspectives, vitality, enthusiasm, and drive to the relationship.

Furthermore, because age-gap couples are from different generations, they can each introduce new hobbies, skills, or interests that the other person may be unaware of, making the relationship more exciting.

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