Woman says “she ruined her own life” after she “changed her life plans because of her ex-BF”

SINGAPORE: Feeling completely lost following her breakup, a woman took to Reddit to seek solace and guidance from others who may have gone through the same thing.

In her heartfelt post, she shared, “I changed my life plans because of him, we broke up and now I feel like I ruined my life.”

“Basically, I made very drastic changes in my career because of my ex, these were things I always dreamed to do but I knew they were impossible, but with him they would be possible, and he made me promises that made me believe him.”

“At the end of the day, I know it was my fault for being so naive, but now he’s gone and I don’t know what to do.”

“I promise that while it might feel that way, your life is not ruined”

In the discussion thread, numerous Redditors encouraged her to be compassionate with herself and not hold herself responsible for her decision to trust her ex-boyfriend. 

They said that she needed to forgive herself in order to move on and get over the split. 

They also included some light-hearted suggestions, like indulging in comfort food and binge-watching her favourite shows, to help lift her mood and take her mind off things.

One Redditor reassured her, stating, “I promise that while it might feel that way, your life is not ruined. You just need to get it back on track.

The less time you spend in a dark place mourning everything that could have been, the quicker you can do just that.

Take time to grieve, but be mindful, because that mental space of grief is like quicksand, it will pull you in, and you can be stuck there for years without realizing it.”

Another suggested, “Try to find yourself again and make new goals that keep your pushing forward.”

Others, meanwhile, shared their own personal stories of heartbreak and recovery.

One Redditor commented:

“I went through the same thing, so I can understand it very well. I changed many plans, some of which I felt would only come true with her by my side, and I stopped pursuing my goals because my ex made many promises that were never fulfilled.

I’m still healing and learning from my mistakes, but I promise you that as time passes, everything gets better, and you regain control of your life.”

Another added, “I did the SAME thing. My life isn’t ruined, though; it just took me on another path. At some point, you’ll look back and be happy it changed course, even though you may wonder, ‘What if?'”

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