SINGAPORE: Many women have to deal with unwanted male attention throughout their lives, but being stalked takes it to a new level. After a woman met a man via a dating app early in the year, his behavior put her off so much that she eventually lodged a police report against him.
Ms Atalia Nyx recently posted two videos about her ordeal with a stalker, as a warning to other women who may encountere him so they don’t have to go through what she has experienced. She said that she used to think the behavior of the man, who is Singaporean-Chinese and in his late twenties and who gave his name as “Jeremy H,” could only be found in the movies or read about in the news, and never thought it would happen to her.
Characterizing him as both obsessive and possessive, she said that the experience has gone far beyond merely annoying, but is actually “really scary.”
“Jeremy H” would spam Ms Atalia with personal questions as well as tell her often that he was nearby and could come see her where she was—whether she was at dance class or out with a friend—questions and suggestions that would go on and on.
Later on, he would start to lash out at her, acting as though she were his girlfriend. As she found his behavior to be upsetting, she told him she no longer wished to continue communicating with him. But he begged to keep talking to him.
Ms Atalia promptly blocked him on Telegram, but then “Jeremy H” went on to create another account to reach out to her, and even tried to do so using her social media accounts. But what was worse is that his tone changed and he began to mock and taunt her.
“‘Haha, are you going to try to block me here too? Let’s see how many times you can block (me)… Wherever you go, I’m just going to follow.’ He was having so much fun with my discomfort and displeasure,” she added.
“Jeremy H” went on to message her on WhatsApp, and when she blocked him, he would just use another number to reach out to her, which went on for months. He would switch from berating her to spamming her with successive messages, to apologizing to her, to wheedling her to give hm attention, to promising to be a better person.
“The thing with stalkers is that they want you to know that it’s them… They like the thrill that you’re uncomfortable. They feel excited by continuously pursuing you,” she added, advising women to swipe left if they ever run into him on a dating app.
The stalker constantly used his name as well as the same photo across the many Telegram and Instagram accounts he made so that Ms Athalia would always know that it was him.
In September, she filed a police report against him. The officers had him come to the police station and told him to stop harassing Ms Atalia. At first, he was quiet. But a month after she filed her report, he started with his antics again.
However, this time around, he no longer put his name or photo on the accounts. The police had told Ms Atalia that they can’t go after accounts that don’t have his name, and “Jeremy H” appears to have learned this as well.
But she’s sure it’s still him. He also deletes new accounts on WhatsApp and Telegram as soon as he sends her messages. In his last message to Ms Atalia, he wrote, “I can’t stop thinking about you. Why don’t unblock me?”
“Hello? Why no reply? Hi? No reason?” She then blocked that account as well.
Contrary to the advice people close to her have given, “which is to “ignore him and he’ll go away,” Ms Atalia wants women to know that if they’re receiving unwanted attention and it makes them very uncomfortable—the best is to get proactive and file a police report. It’s not worth your mental health to suffer due to a stalker.
She describes what “Jeremy H” looks like and how he dresses in the TikTok below.
“It’s a stressful experience having a stalker. What is frustrating is they do not respect boundaries or the woman’s wish for them to stop. They just impose their wants and cannot take “no” for an answer. I really hope other ladies will not get to go through the same experience with him; that is why I want to warn them to avoid him. He will leech onto you and not let go,” she told The Independent Singapore.