Netizen asks ‘those who dated hot guys and girls, how did you feel when they become obese?’

SINGAPORE: When a Reddit user asked how a person felt when their “hot” partner gained weight, a lively discussion followed about how to tell your partner they’re no longer as attractive in your eyes. Or not.

Addressing those whose “Partner who became obese,” u/oieric wrote on r/askSingapore, “For those who dated hot guys and girls, how did you feel when they become obese after getting married or being together for sometime?”

Now, for the record, there is a difference between gaining weight, being overweight and becoming obese, and the crux of the matter isn’t just about being “hot” but involves physical and mental health, self-esteem, and other issues.

Plus, weight gain is not uncommon as people get older, or, in some cases, get happier. Studies have shown that many happy couples actually tend to gain weight.

In other words, it’s not a cut-and-dried issue, a point that the commenters on the thread underlined.

A number of Reddit users said it was important to be supportive of your partner.

“My partner has gained a lot of weight in the past 1 year due to her new job. She has to OT on most days and has no time for self-care. All I did was to be supportive of her mental health, and give her more time to work on finding her next job.

Stress eating is a thing, and the last thing they want to hear from their partner is you fat liao leh,’” wrote one.

Another chimed in, “It would be better to have a difficult but honest conversation about losing your attraction due to your preferences of your partner. Your partner has a right to know/to leave/stay. As a supportive partner, if I were in this situation, I would want to encourage him/her to seek out help to figure out why weight gain has occurred. Especially if they were ‘hot/thin/physically attractive’ to begin with. It usually has to do with psychological or mental stress/events which lead to excessive eating as a coping mechanism.

Without identifying this root cause, no amount of verbal shaming/food restriction/forced exercise is effective in the long term.”

“When we acknowledged that without health, we can’t be anything,” a netizen who was able to motivate his partner, and vice versa, to obtaining better health shared.

One woman wrote, “In a way I’m lucky to have my partner become obese or very close to obese and have them figure out that they need to bounce back by themselves. I know life is hard out there and this doesn’t always happen. But I know I would’ve still stayed together with him if he stayed obese since that was my mentality before he started dieting and exercising.”

“It depends on how much appearance fits in the relationship,” wrote another.

However, one commenter acknowledged that it was an unpopular take but wrote, “Unpopular opinion, but i cannot and will never accept it if my partner becomes fat. I take the time to workout at the gym, i dont expect them to have the same level of commitment or dedication, but if all they do is eat and become a blob, this is smth i will never accept. I’ve seen on my ig, one guy who used to be skinny and now his chin has combined with his neck. Its disgusting. Same with all the others who simply let themselves go, with hugeass bellies and all.”

/TISG

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