Man asks if he should continue his relationship with his girlfriend, a teacher who works 14-15 hours a day, or find someone ‘more family oriented’

Teachers have hard jobs and are rarely off the clock since much of their downtime is spent in hours of preparation for their classes.

One man who for two years has been dating a teacher whose workday lasts between 14 and 15 hours is now wondering whether to stay with her or to find someone else who is “more family oriented.”

He asked for advice on the anonymous NUS Whispers Facebook page, and netizens had a lot to say.

“While we really love each other and are serious about one another, I’m a bit uncertain about our future together due to her workload and commitment to work,” the man wrote, adding an example of her regular schedule.

He also complained about her salary, saying that “retail and F&B workers are better paid hourly than her.”

The couple has been getting into fights about the woman’s schedule, as her boyfriend has been telling her it’s unsustainable, but she counters this by saying since he’s not a teacher, he doesn’t understand.

“Also, I realised that a lot of her teacher friends (female), are single well into late 30s and 40s – which I guess its due to their teaching lifestyle. On the flip end, most women I know from my line of work (private) are married by their late 30s,” the man added.

And since he knows her work situation is likely to remain unchanged, he says he’s “wondering if I could get any advice on how to move forward…or move on.”

He says that while he “love(s) her a lot, she had made it clear that her priority is to be a good teacher.”

He is also concerned that “she loves teaching more than me” and if they do settle down and have children, “she’ll leave majority of the child-rearing to me while she continues her passion”.

The man’s job is less tiring and he gets more than double her salary, but “in order for me to climb more, I need her to do her fair share of child-rearing.”

However, when he asked her “to take a step back from her overloaded schedule…this was utterly shot down and more quarrels ensured.”

He described his situation now as “at a crossroads,” and asked, “should I push on and try to make things work, or try to move on to find someone who able to be more family-oriented?”

Many commenters appeared to find the man to be selfish.

One netizen told him, “Teaching is more than just a job; it’s a calling.”

“If all the guys in SG didn’t want their gf to be a teacher, then SG education will go down hill,” wrote one.

“You don’t have empathy for her and you cannot be flexible ? Then you go marry some other girl and ask them to be your yellow housewife,” wrote another.

One wrote, “And THIS is the reason why many female teachers are single.”

“She deserves someone better, someone who understands and shares her passion,” a netizen wrote.

Another netizen, who is herself a teacher, was more reassuring, writing “You will find your way as a family,” and adding that “The best advice I ever heard frm older teachers who are married. Is that we need very understanding husbands…”

Another teacher was even more supportive.

/TISG

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