SINGAPORE: A woman who recently moved with her husband to their BTO (Built to Order) flat is now fielding questions about friends and family coming over for a visit.
The problem is that she doesn’t want them to visit, mainly because the flat is small. “I know my house is small. I don’t want to invite ppl over and be subjected to their scrutiny and judgement, be it imaginary or real. I also don’t like to host gatherings or hang out at homes,” wrote u/cakesandchips on r/askSingapore on Monday (May 8).
“How do I reject everyone nicely? Do I pretend say okok and just never invite them?” she asked.
Part of the problem is that her siblings have a five-room resale flat while hers is only a four-room flat where “the living room isn’t big. My older bro and sis have been telling me it’s very small, kept asking me why I buy only 4rm.”
She added that at a recent housewarming for close friends, “They said next gathering should be at our place, I told them our house too small to host, but they insisted to come visit.”
Her and her husband’s parents and other relatives “have also been asking when are we having house warming. Arghh.”
One Reddit user told her to set boundaries and say no if she doesn’t want visitors.
“Another thing you also need to learn is to not care too much (about) other people’s opinions. Why let their opinions live rent-free in your head when there are better things in life to enjoy,” the commenter added.
Another offered this option: “Maybe can suggest meeting at restaurants instead.. Good what nobody need to clean up. Eat finish just leave…”
“It’s your house.. u should be able to decide if you want people in your home,” one chimed in.
A Reddit user offered this perspective: “It seems that your sibling’s comments are the ones that have been affecting you the most to be honest, hence your reluctance to host. Your friends probably don’t care how big or small your house is.”
/TISG