SINGAPORE: A woman currently earning S$3,600 a month shared on social media that she’s feeling burnt out from financially supporting her family back home.
She explained in her post on r/askSingapore that ever since she moved to Singapore seven years ago to study and eventually work there, her parents never financially supported her in any way as her education was “100% sponsored by the government with allowance.”
When she also finally secured a job in the healthcare sector four years ago, her parents had all the more reason not to worry about her financially.
Later, she started sending money to her family as her two brothers were still in college, and her father, a businessman, had an unstable income.
Her older sister also added to her worries. She said, “My older sister works in Singapore, WFO and commission-based, so her income is also unstable. She is irresponsible with money, so sometimes she needs to borrow my money to pay rent and daily necessities.”
She then expressed how she felt about the whole set-up, writing, “At first, I was happy to help, but lately, I feel burnt out because I have an elder sister, but she won’t even help me support my family.
Since young, I have liked to save money and live frugally, so I do have quite some savings to help them. But at the same time, I don’t want to be a ‘banker’.”
Moreover, the woman wrote that she’s worried that “she’s falling behind everyone else” as people online, specifically on Reddit, always talked about how they’re earning three times as much as her.
“[They talk] about making $10K a month and having $200K++ in savings. I just feel very behind and lost. I don’t think I can make a $10K amount anytime soon. Any comments or advice? I am kinda frustrated at my situation,” she said.
“Happiness isn’t about comparing salaries or achievements…”
In the discussion thread, many Redditors advised the woman to take everything she reads on social media with a grain of salt and stop comparing herself to others.
One Redditor said, “There are people out there with far less who are genuinely happy with their lives. Look at me… I’m in my 30s, born and raised in Singapore, and a local uni graduate. To top it off, I earn less than you. Does that make you feel better?
At the end of the day, happiness isn’t about comparing salaries or achievements but finding contentment in what you have.”
Another pointed out, “Those who make $10K a month and have $200K in savings in their 20s are in the top 0.001% of their age group. It’s called humblebragging when you see it on Reddit. Don’t get sad because of that.”
As for her family problems, some Redditors suggested she consider scaling back her financial support.
One Redditor added, “It’s not up to you to help solve other people’s blunders, even when they are family. It’s YOUR hard-earned money; you are the one to decide what to do with it.”
Create a monthly budget before helping out your parents/family
According to Miriam Caldwell, a budgeting and personal finance expert and writer for The Balance Money, it’s important to create a monthly budget before giving your parents any of your hard-earned money.
Start by listing all your monthly expenses, including fixed costs like rent, utility bills, transportation, and your mobile phone bill.
Next, factor in variable costs, such as groceries, entertainment, dining out, and any subscriptions or services you regularly use. These smaller expenses often add up more than expected, so it’s essential to account for them.
Caldwell emphasizes that after you’ve tallied up your expenses, you’ll have a clear picture of how much money is available for other priorities, like helping your parents or family members.
If you want to take it further, you can also calculate your parents’ monthly expenses and factor that into your budget. This way, you can see if you can support them without compromising your financial health.
By understanding your expenses and theirs, you can make more informed decisions about how much money you can realistically contribute to their well-being while ensuring that your needs and financial goals are met.
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)