Singaporean says it’s “irresponsible for parents to pin their hopes and dreams on their children”

SINGAPORE: A Singaporean took to social media to speak out against parents who live vicariously through their children, calling them ‘irresponsible’ for pinning their hopes and dreams on their kids.

In an anonymous post on the NUSWhispers Facebook page, the Singaporean urged parents not to constantly share the success stories of others as a means to push their children.

He argued that this approach was inappropriate, as it places unfair expectations on young ones.

“It is so disgusting,” he said. “I don’t know if you are having a child because you genuinely are able to provide for and want happiness for your child or if you are just hoping for a success story that you couldn’t achieve on your part.”

Moreover, the Singaporean also targeted parents who expect their children to become financial lifelines as soon as they enter the workforce.

“Because your child is earning more than you are capable of, you expect him/her to provide you with whatever is on your wishlist. Don’t try to say you are easily content in front of others when you secretly wish for more,” he said. 

“Only have children if you can live on your own means and are not hoping your child will satisfy your needs later on in life.”

According to him, these issues are among the reasons his generation hesitates about having children. It’s not just about the high cost of living, he said; it’s also about the “real intention” behind wanting children.

“Toxic parents expect too much and treat their children like ATMs. That is not right.”

A few netizens commented on the post to offer their thoughts on the matter.

One netizen said, “Filial piety has its limits, especially in this current world. Even the CPF has its limitations all spelled out in black and white. Toxic parents expect too much and treat their children like ATMs. That is not right.”

Another netizen commented, “As a parent, I give everything I can to raise my kid. I expect no monetary returns from my child. Starting their own lives’ is hard enough.”

Meanwhile, a few others questioned why the Singaporean man was so angry, to which another replied, “Because Mother’s Day is coming. Can be triggering.”

One netizen also speculated, “Writer must be a real loser & not meeting parents basic expectations.”

Read also: “Why do some parents always find fault with you no matter what you do?” — Son who “fit into how an ‘ideal’ child should be” asks

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