Indonesia claims haze caused by burning 1MDB money1

By: Ben Matchap

In March of this year, the Malaysian parliamentary committee investigating 1MDB said in a report that the Malaysian sovereign fund sent a total of $3.5 billion to “Aabar BVI”. What happened to the money after it went to the British Virgin Islands could not be determined, the parliamentary report added.

Soon after the release of the parliamentary report, Abu Dhabi’s sovereign wealth fund, International Petroleum Investment Co (IPIC), and its subsidiary Aabar Investments PJS said in a joint statement that the BVI firm with an almost identical name, Aabar Investments PJS Ltd, “was not an entity within either corporate group.”

IPIC further clarified that they had neither received any payments from the BVI company, which was wound up last June, nor assumed any liabilities on its behalf.

As the mystery deepened as to who controlled the British Virgin Islands-registered company that received the money from 1MDB, an Indonesian official has come forward to tell us that they have found the $3.5 billion from Malaysia’s scandal-tainted state fund 1MDB in Indonesia.

The official further said that the money was handed over to the Indonesian department of corruption which promptly burnt all of it, in order to maintain public order and morality.

He added: “After finding such dirty money we knew it was not good to keep it in Indonesia, we decided that burning it was the best thing to do, that money has caused a lot of hurt and suffering in Malaysia. But it was a lot of money, so burning it will take time and it will cause a bit of haze, I hope our neighbours will be understanding in our time of cleansing. Malaysia also needs time to heal.”

So for once Singaporeans can take a breath of fresh air, knowing that this year’s annual haze wasn’t caused by corrupt oil plantations out to make a quick-and-easy profit at the expense of many others, but instead by the money of corrupt people in high places.

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This is a satirical piece.