SINGAPORE: A Singaporean worker opened up on social media about feeling nervous that her colleagues “might judge her” for not hanging out with them during lunch.
In her Reddit post, she shared that because of her “bad acid reflux and sensitive stomach,” she usually brings her own meals to work. She also said she prefers walking after eating since she’s stuck sitting from 9 to 6.
“If I could head to the gym, do a workout, come back, (and) eat, all within one hour, I would gladly do so. Since I cannot make it, walks are the easiest for me. Just walk around the malls for 30 to 40 minutes, get some steps in. Done,” she said.
However, even though this routine works for her, she admitted that eating separately from her colleagues makes her feel a little anxious.
“I am worried about my colleagues judging me for bringing my own meals and not eating with them during lunch,” she said.
Looking for advice, she asked locals, “How to get over the fear of being judged by my colleagues?”
“Nobody thinks of you as much as you think they do.”
In the discussion thread, many Singaporean Redditors reassured her that her colleagues likely wouldn’t judge her for bringing her own lunch to work.
“I think you’re overthinking it unless someone has actually told you that they found it weird you’re bringing your own food. With the prices these days and nutritional value (or lack thereof) of outside food, it almost seems stupid not to cook your own food. Your colleagues will have much bigger problems to worry about than to concern themselves over you bringing your own food, 100%,” one Redditor commented.
“As you get older, you will realize that nobody thinks of you as much as you think they do. They are too busy worrying about their own problems to worry about yours,” another bluntly said.
However, others suggested that if she’s genuinely concerned about the potential judgment, she could try bringing her lunch with her and eating alongside her colleagues at hawker centres. Some even recommended doing this one to three times a week to strike a balance between maintaining her routine and spending time with her colleagues.
“You do not have to eat with them every day, but pick out a day of your schedule where it is your rest day to engage with your co-workers (assuming they are pleasant people). Making friends can really go a long way in any working environment,” one said.
“I bring my food four times a week because I like to save money. I go out to eat with colleagues on Fridays,” another shared.
Fear of being judged at work
Marie Forleo, an American entrepreneur and founder of Marie Forleo International, believes that overcoming the fear of judgment at work starts with being kinder to yourself.
“When you stop judging yourself, people will miraculously find less to judge about you. This doesn’t mean you have to be confident 100% of the time—all of us feel fear and self-doubt regularly. To keep working anyway, turn your focus outward to the people you serve and away from your inner critic,” she wrote.
She also highlights an important truth: People aren’t actually watching or judging you as much as you might assume. Often, we overanalyze situations and assume others are being critical when they’re not.
“Don’t assume people are judgmental,” she says. “Sometimes, what you interpret as judgment from someone is just a lack of understanding. Have you ever taken the time to explain to them what you do? Give them a chance to get it before dismissing their lackluster response as judgey.”
Forleo also stresses that worrying about other people’s opinions is a waste of energy because you ultimately have no control over what they think.
She says, “You can’t change what people think about you, so don’t waste energy trying. Be true to yourself to achieve your true purpose.”
Featured image by freepik (for illustration purposes only)