SINGAPORE: A 26-year-old man took to social media to share the emotional pain he experienced after discovering that his ex-girlfriend cheated on him and showed no remorse.
In a heartfelt post on the r/SingaporeRaw forum on Wednesday (Jan 22), the man explained how their relationship began through the dating app Bumble.
“We talked for a few months, and things got super serious. I trusted her and gave her all my time and energy since it was a long distance,” he said.
“I was hesitant at the start because I’m in a very not-so-good state about my career, prepping for competitive exams and all, and I did tell her everything about it. She gave me all the assurance,” he added.
The man said that throughout their relationship, he “did a lot of things for her” and even went to great lengths to show how much he cared. On the other hand, his ex introduced him to her family and promised to visit him at least thrice a year.
The man recalled that all was well at that point, aside from their occasional fights. However, one of their fights went a bit too far, and they didn’t talk for a few days.
During this period, he believed that the time apart would strengthen their bond, and he was “hoping and praying that things would soon return to normal,” just like they always had before.
However, while they were giving each other space, his ex re-entered the dating scene. When he confronted her, she said, “We had already broken up.”
“I lost my cool, shouted at her, pushed her to get her out of her character, and I found out she’s cheated on me at the start of the relationship, lied about EVERY thing, her past, all the assurance she’s given me, the promises she made, about the future literally about everything,” he explained.
He also mentioned that after the confession, his ex never felt any remorse and never accepted her mistakes. She even portrayed him as the villain, as he discovered she had spoken ill of him to her friends and family.
“When I asked her about the things I’ve done for her and her family, she said, ‘I NEVER asked you to do all this for me; it’s your responsibility now to move on with your life; I need to move on talk to other guys.’”
“Fun fact: she’s already been cheated on by her ex, and the reason she gave me was, ‘I never healed.’ When I asked her about the promises she made, ‘All those were just words I said when we were together, now I don’t know.’”
Near the end of his post, the man shared that his ex had blocked him on all platforms, leaving him with nothing but the emotional trauma from their relationship.
“Now my question is, how can people be so cruel?” he wrote.
“Don’t invest so much into another person next time.”
In the comments section, several Singaporean Redditors shared their stories of heartbreak and how they managed to move on from the pain, hoping that it might help the man somehow.
One Redditor wrote, “Bro, I got cheated on by three ex-gfs. I spent a lot of time, effort, emotions and money on them, but now, I’m married to the best woman I could ever ask for, and we are expecting a 2nd kid.
“You should be glad that this happened now rather than later; at least you saw her true colours now. 100% not suitable, siam and move on. Hold on there, bro; I still believe good things come to good people.”
Another commented, “Relationships are tiring. Focus on yourself and your own life. Don’t invest so much into another person next time until they’ve proven that they’re worth the effort and investment.”
A third shared, “Mine said, ‘It’s just life,’ in response to my question about whether our four years together meant anything to her.
“Yes, people are cruel. I got no closure, nothing. Blocked everywhere. I picked myself up, went to the gym, and started to love myself again; I’m doing much better now — physically and mentally.”
Wale Okerayi, a mental health counsellor working in New York and Texas, says that individuals whose partners have cheated on them must allow themselves to feel their “sadness, disappointment, and betrayal” to heal.
If the couple decides to continue their relationship, Okerayi recommends that they undergo individual counselling and couples therapy to allow them to process their feelings.
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)