A girlfriend who referred to her boyfriend as “one of the most unambitious, lazy person I ever had the misfortune of knowing” wrote an anonymous post about how she dumped him.
In her post to popular confessions Facebook page SGWhispers, she wrote that her boyfriend did not want to upgrade himself and was content with his “dead eng, menial job”. She added that he had no ambitions and was content with “simple living”.
“I am earning at least 5x his income and sometimes, want to enjoy the finer things in life. So I will offer to bring him to restaurants, using my own money, only to hear him say how cai fan from a coffee shop tastes as good”, she wrote.
The girlfriend added that the last straw for her was when he asked her to change jobs and take a pay cut so that they would be within the income ceiling and be eligible to buy a BTO flat. “I outright told him I don’t want to stay in a hdb and will want to buy a condo. He kept insisting a hdb is as good as a condo. Told him I can pay my share fr the condo, can he buck up and pay his share”, she added. Her boyfriend declined and suggested they consider renting an HDB flat instead.
“Dumped him on the spot”, she wrote.
Some netizens who commented on the post wrote that they did not find anything wrong with her leaving him because of their difference in expectations. Others said she was being harsh and urged her to discuss the matter properly with her boyfriend.
Here’s what they said:
Last month, a girlfriend who wrote about a power struggle in their relationship took to social media asking if others had shared similar experiences.
In her post, she wrote that they had been in a relationship for a year and a half and felt that he was someone she wanted to live her life with. “Personally I believe that everyone is imperfect in some way, and that all relationships has its ups and downs in its lifetime. I’ve always been attracted to “drive”, to have someone not just to grow old together, but to “grow” together”, she added.
However, the girlfriend wrote that their relationship was non-traditional, and she drew a salary that was more than twice what he earned.
“Over our period of dating, my partner has been relatively resistant to the growth mindset, happy with the status quo and has constantly voiced that he is happy being a supportive partner & a house husband”, she wrote, adding that she thought it was a huge waste of his potential.
“Till today, he has refused to meet 90% of my close friends even though I had mentioned that it would mean a lot to me (the relationships are extremely important to me and my career). FYI – we have already met each others family and his close friends. Because of this, I often feel sad not having the support I really need. He also constantly makes it a point for me to feel small. He would nitpick on my mistakes, making sure I paid for it by doing the same thing against me in days/months/years later just to proof a point that I was wrong”, she added.
In her post, she added that he often saw her as a villain in their relationship. He also accused her of “trapping him into applying for a BTO for the sake of me wanting to own a home when it was really for his sake (income ceiling issues)”.
Despite this, she added that he treated her well and made her happy. She felt her partner would act out because of his “financial inferiority” but hoped he knew that she considered him her equal.