SINGAPORE: A frustrated Singaporean worker recently blasted her male colleague on social media for constantly refusing to share the workload.
In a post on r/askSingapore, a Reddit forum, she explained that this colleague of hers, who joined the company around the same time as she did, habitually takes on most of the tasks by himself instead of dividing them fairly.
In fact, she often has to ask, sometimes almost demand, to take on some of the work, which makes her feel uncomfortable.
“The thing is, I like to fairly contribute to our projects and I am not an awful worker, and I am quite sure he knows that because a lot of times when he is stuck at something, I know the solution and shares it with him,” she wrote. “But ultimately, he just likes to do it himself, especially the more technical stuff.”
She also mentioned that whenever the roles were reversed and she takes the lead on a task, she goes out of her way to ensure that he gets a fair share of the work and always checks in to see if he’s comfortable with how she’s handling things.
Unfortunately, she has yet to see him extend the same consideration toward her.
“But I want to say that he is an incredibly nice person otherwise, and will even treat me coffee or other drinks from time to time…I seriously just want to be a fair contributor,” she said.
Reflecting on the situation, she couldn’t help but wonder if gender dynamics might be influencing his behaviour. Both she and her colleague are equally competent in their roles, but she questioned whether he might feel the need to outperform her simply because she’s a woman.
“Maybe because I’m a girl and maybe guys sometimes just subconsciously want to be better than girls? I just can’t think of the reasons why my colleague acts like that,” she said. “Anyone has similar experiences and tips on how to navigate this?”
“You should call him out. No need to sound fierce or accusatory.”
In the comments section, many Singaporean Redditors weighed in on the issue. Some thought that this had nothing to do with gender and suggested that her colleague might just be a “lone ranger”—the kind of person who prefers to handle everything on his own because he has more faith in his work than in anyone else’s.
Others pointed out that this kind of behaviour is pretty common in some workplaces, where people feel the need to prove themselves by taking on a ton of responsibility, often sacrificing teamwork in the process.
One Redditor suggested that next time tasks are handed out, she should be proactive and say something like, “I’ll handle A, and you take care of B, cool?”—and ideally do it in front of the boss to clear things up.
He added, “If he continues doing all the work after you’ve said this, you should call him out. No need to sound fierce or accusatory. Just a simple: “Eh, I thought I said I would do A?” No feel bad about this also. Just assert yourself. It’s good to want to be fair to him, but don’t let this happen at your expense.
Another Redditor suggested bringing it up with their manager. She wrote, “Maybe you can discuss with your manager. This is not snitching, just objectively highlight to manager that you wish to have more learning opportunities to lead a project (or the like) and make it such that the work division is super clear.
A third Redditor added that this situation could actually work to her advantage. If she proves her competence while her colleague does all the heavy lifting, it frees her up to contribute in different ways and expand her skills and responsibilities.
She wrote, “Maybe you can spend more time “managing up”. Remember it’s not always the person who does the most work that gets rewarded, the more recognized person is often someone who works well with management.”
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)