No one gets married with the intention of getting a divorce, but life has a funny way of dealing with us in the most unlikely blows. That said, even a marriage that last can be unhappy and at some point, many couples would have wanted to call it quits.
Here are some scary signs that the writing may be on the wall:
- You don’t recall when things were going well for both of you in the relationship.
When was the last time you looked back on the relationship and felt that things were good? If you can’t look back at good times and feel good about what you both have, then alarm bells should be going off.
- Zero sexual attraction
If you’re feeling empty inside and it’s not just a “not in the mood” thing, then perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate things and take stock of your feelings. Many couples lead sexless lives, and not without good reason.
When you look at your partner, do you still find them sexually attractive? Is there any chemistry or spark left? Sex isn’t the main thing in a marriage, for sure, but it does help make the marriage a healthy one.
- Physical abuse
Even a single instance of physical abuse can be traumatic. Once is enough, although many abused wives end up staying, and most of the time it happens more than once. Often it’s because they may be too scared to leave or don’t know how to go about it. Seek help from domestic violence organizations if you can.
- Addiction issues
This can wreak havoc on a relationship, for sure, but don’t automatically throw in the towel. Remember, marriage is not all smooth sailing and that is why wedding vows contain the phrase “for better or for worse, in sickness and in health.” Try to help first and if all else fails, only then move on.
- Therapy hasn’t helped, and you’re staying because you fear leaving.
Getting divorced is scary, especially if you have children. A future without your spouse can make you feel out of your depth. Therapists say one way to counter this is to write down how you feel and deal with worst-case scenarios. Then do a best-case scenario that is all the good things that you wish for. Study each situation and then decide.
- You just can’t be married to this person anymore, and you’ve tried everything
Sometimes you just can’t put your finger on it, and you may feel guilty for feeling that way, but the whole relationship feels hopeless, and you just don’t want to be married anymore. This is the time when people feel too guilty about leaving and resign themselves to an unhappy married life. They lose hope completely.
Remember not to do this. Getting divorced is a chance to start over if you really feel it’s not working. Put an end to your suffering because your partner suffers too, indirectly, not having the best of you. Don’t stay married just because of your belief system or guilt.
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