SINGAPORE: A Singaporean woman took to social media to share her dating experience, claiming that the man she’s seeing exhibited “red flags” for asking if she wanted to split the bill and not ensuring she got home safely.
In her post on r/sgdatingscene, she wrote, “He tends to ask if I want to pay when we go out for meals or buying food. Sometimes, he does pay, too, but I notice he will also ask me if I want to pay.”
“He [also] doesn’t send me home after a date, but we don’t drive and take public transport and stay far apart,” she added.
She then asked the community what other red flags she should look for in the future.
“It can be quite taxing for the guy to always be paying.”
Many in the comments disagreed with the woman, saying that the behaviours she pointed out were not red flags.
One commenter explained that this seemed more like a compatibility issue than a sign of bad character. He added, “He’s seeking an equal partnership type of relationship, while your ideal guy is more of an old-fashioned ‘provider’.”
Another wrote, “Not sure how old you are and how often you guys are going out on dates, but eating out is expensive, and it can be quite taxing for the guy to always be paying.
Likewise, when sending you home, especially if you go on dinner dates, since it’ll take him twice the time to get home after. This is assuming that you guys are dating somewhere central and not always near where he stays, so the latter might be a little strange.”
A third user chimed in to explain what truly counts as a red flag in a relationship. She said, “I think red flags are more of unhealthy and problematic behaviours instead of this.
Some of the red flags I’ve encountered are more like lying, anger management issues, violent tendencies, [and] gaslighting. For me, I actually wouldn’t mind the two things you mentioned in this post.”
Still, some people sympathised with the woman’s perspective, believing her concerns were valid. One said, “Please don’t listen to them!! As a girl, I can tell you he’s not a gentleman by asking if you’d like to pay. Trust your gut feeling always.”
Communicate your expectations
Dating experts say discussing your expectations early on is a good idea. Rather than investing weeks or months only to find out you have different views on relationships, being upfront from the beginning helps you both determine if you’re truly compatible.
For example, if you want a traditional partner who takes the lead as the main provider, mentioning it early can help you see if he feels the same way.
At the end of the day, relationships thrive on mutual understanding and aligned expectations. Whether splitting the bill is a red flag or simply a difference in values, open communication remains key to building a relationship that works for both partners.
Read also: TikTok layoffs: Singaporean shares how his sister-in-law was blindsided by unexpected termination
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)