SINGAPORE: A woman took to social media to share her experience lending substantial money to a needy friend, only to be disappointed when repayment never materialized as promised. 

In her post on r/askSingapore on Monday (April 29), she wrote, “I remember lending to a friend who needed help. I know she went through a divorce and lost her job. Knowing that having to pay the bills and going through all these, money at that point is crucial and can tide someone over.

Supposed to be repaid over 10 years, but till date only got back $200 out of $10k.”

She mentioned that after lending the money, her friend rarely contacted her and didn’t respond much to her messages about repayment.

This left her feeling foolish, as she realized she could have used the money for other meaningful purposes, like buying food for her parents or investing in further education.

“..there’s many great uses for that. I just feel dumb. While this happened many years ago, just curious if anyone else lost money and how you all healed?”

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“Golden rule in life: Never lend anyone any money”

The woman’s post appeared to have struck a chord with many Singaporeans on Reddit, as evidenced by the passionate comments and high number of upvotes it received.

Many were enraged by people who, like the woman’s friend, betrayed their friend’s trust by failing to repay the loan in full.

One Redditor even questioned how people could disregard loaned money as if it were free, wondering if it reflects a lack of empathy or a psychological issue.

They added, “Like… how don’t you at least try and return some of it, or figure something out, anything, propose something, say something… how can you just pretend the loan doesn’t exist? What kind of animal does that?”

Another Redditor shared a personal story about being helped by friends during a difficult time and feeling obligated to repay them as soon as possible, even if it meant making sacrifices such as eating cheap meals or bringing homemade lunches to work. 

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“I simply couldn’t betray the trust of my friends. Now they’re almost all paid off, and I’m so thankful for their help. The continued friendship and trust are so much more valuable to me.”

Several Redditors also highlighted the inherent risks of lending money to friends, noting that it often leads to financial losses and strained relationships. One Redditor stated, “Golden rule in life: Never lend anyone any money.”

Others, meanwhile, shared stories about how they had lost money in the past, albeit in another way, like investing in stocks or cryptocurrency.

One Redditor commented, “Stocks & options – lost more than $80k. That’s my entire 6 years of savings. 3 years passed, and slowly picking myself up again.”

While another recounted, “I lost $14k during the crypto winter in 2021-2022. There I learned that the market takes back when one gets greedy.”

Some Redditors shared their coping strategies, which included allowing themselves to grieve the loss, moving forward, and focusing on ways to regain the lost money.

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One Redditor offered this advice:

“How to heal? Remember it’s only money and you can earn it back. Don’t think of it as an opportunity cost and be careful in the future. There are a lot of things money can’t buy back.

Just remember it all about perspective, and when life throws you lemons, make lemonades.”

Read related: My friend treats me like I’m his ATM machine: ‘How do I force him to return my money?’