SG man says after his girlfriend picked up a new hobby with new friends, she broke up with him and wants to forfeit BTO deposit

SINGAPORE: A man took to social media after his girlfriend of five years wanted to break up with him.

In a post to popular confessions page SGWhispers, the man wrote that after his girlfriend picked up a new hobby and a new group of friends, she started prioritising them over their relationship. “She would spend her whole Saturdays and some weekdays evening to do her own lobby, which leaves her with no time and energy to spend time with me”, the man wrote.

He added that his girlfriend also started being rather distant and cold. The relationship cooled just when a property payment was due.

“As our BTO downpayment is coming soon, I wanted to check in with her on her thoughts of our r/s. She said she wasn’t ready to settle down, at least for the next 2 years and  lost feelings in me because ‘we have nth in common’. This was nth new because we once broke up 2 years ago over the same issue and I thought this time would be different”, he wrote.

If the man and his girlfriend took an HDB loan, they would have paid 10% of the purchase price (or 5% if under the Staggered Downpayment Scheme). Those taking bank loans would have paid 20% of the purchase price (or 10% if under the Staggered Downpayment Scheme).

He would also have paid the Buyer’s Stamp Duty and the cost of engaging a lawyer, whether HDB’s or their own. If they planned to buy a $400,000 flat and take out a bank loan, that would mean they would lose 20% of the purchase price amounting to $80,000, as well as $6,600 as Buyer’s Stamp Duty, and legal fees and disbursements incurred by the lawyer for lodging a caveat, etc.

In his post, the man said his girlfriend took him for granted. He was very nice to her, buying her things and taking her out for good meals. “Is our r/s over? I don’t want to kick the can down the road, pay the downpayment and forfeit it later on. Do I break up and move on?” the man asked.

Here’s what others in the group said:

Earlier this year, a local woman who wanted to get a BTO flat with her partner could not do so because he was a foreigner and not a Permanent Resident (PR) in Singapore.

“They say you don’t choose who you love, and I am inclined to believe that is partially true because if I really can choose, I rather date a Singaporean bc things would be so much easier”, the woman wrote an anonymous post to popular confessions page SGWhispers. She added that she wanted to settle in Singapore, support her family and start her own family here. However, she added that the conditions that came with housing were a big problem for her.

“My partner and I can’t apply for BTO bc they aren’t PR (and they are unlikely to get it, to be very real). Please don’t tell me to get a stupid 2-room flexi, how tf are we gonna start a family in a pigeon hole?” the woman ranted. She added that she and her partner were also outpriced in the market, where they could not afford anything above the BTO price ceiling.

Read the full story here:

Singaporean woman slams BTO system because she can’t get a flat while dating a non-PR foreigner