SINGAPORE: A 30-year-old man took to social media on Monday (Sept 30) to share that his wife has been urging him to switch to a higher-paying job because she’s worried they won’t be able to afford to raise a child in Singapore with their current combined income.
In a post on r/askSingapore, the man shared that he’s been at his current job for about 3.5 years, earning around $4,500 before CPF. While the salary isn’t particularly high, he explained that he’s been quite content with the job for a number of reasons.
One of the main things he values is flexibility—his working hours aren’t rigid, allowing him to manage his time as needed. On top of that, there’s no pressure to work overtime, and he has the option to work from home, which adds to his convenience.
Additionally, he mentioned that his boss is very supportive and doesn’t micromanage. “If I want to complain [about my job], the increment is too little, but it’s probably around the market rate at 3-5%,” he said.
While he’s sent out a few resumes here and there, he admitted he’s not in a rush to leave or particularly worried about finding a new job.
“I’m not a very career-driven person and would rather spend time with family, doing things I like, or just rest mentally and physically because, from the very beginning, I wouldn’t want to be burnt out from working just to earn that extra cash.
Not worth sacrificing my mental and physical health,” he explained. However, the problem was that his wife believed otherwise and thought he should hustle more for their future child.
“She’s currently earning more than me, and we do have plans to have a kid in future. She feels that with our current income, we wouldn’t be able to afford a kid,” he wrote.
“During the argument, I just told her if she thinks we cannot afford it, I would rather not have one since it wouldn’t be responsible for us to do so. I think she got slightly hurt by that since she does want to have a kid,” he added.
He then asked the community, “Is it wrong of me to be satisfied with my job? Am I being selfish?”
“Higher paying job means higher stress”
In the discussion thread, many Singaporean Redditors agreed with his stance, pointing out that a higher salary doesn’t always mean a better quality of life, especially if it comes at the cost of burnout and stress.
One Redditor said, “Higher paying job means higher stress. Higher stress means you will likely be in a bad mood towards your family and cannot spend time with them (OT daily or work weekends).
Is this what she is prepared to face? Having children will also add to this stress; I’m not sure if you two are ready to bring up a child if both of your work will require a lot from u both.”
Others, however, echoed his wife’s concerns, stressing the financial realities of raising a child in Singapore. One Redditor commented, “Your wife is right. It’s expensive enough in Singapore and will only worsen with a kid. Think from her perspective, please.”
Another stated, “From an income standpoint, 30M with $4.5K is too little. I’m not asking you to be income-centric, but while you’re 30, take some risks and explore more before being comfortable. Who knows, you can get the income and work-life balance you want.”
Additionally, several Redditors advised the man to have a serious conversation with his wife about their financial goals and family planning.
One Redditor shared, “Do the math together and communicate expectations; that’s the only way. Fought with my future wife until we sat down and worked out our stresses and expectations, hence recommending it.”
Another expressed, “You need to note that as a married couple, your goals must be aligned. If one of you wants a kid and the other doesn’t, it will create friction in the relationship. Y’all need to sit down and discuss the end goal properly.”
Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)