Man asks how to avoid “judgmental & critical” CNY family gatherings

SINGAPORE: A Singaporean recently took to social media to share how meeting with his “judgmental and critical” family members at this time of year must be endured instead of cherished. He also said that “others (who) see me will give a dirty look and ignore (me).”

“Some of my older relatives will be rather intrusive and ask how much I earn, what is my profession… then compare (me) to other more successful relatives without any hindrance,” the writer shared, adding, “I have to tolerate their remarks. I just have to force myself to attend this yearly get-together,” the online user wrote in an online forum on Friday (Jan 26).

The post described the rather awkward, uncomfortable questions many people get from relatives they haven’t seen in a while.

One commenter was lucky enough not to experience such things, sharing, “I don’t dread (them) cause my relatives are generally positive. And they are in China so for all my life in Singapore, I’ve only spent Chinese New Year with my family or sometimes my dad’s best friends. I don’t think you need to give respect to boomers who don’t respect you.”

However, others shared the writer’s sentiments. “Dread isn’t the right word, but yeah kinda disappointed at myself when all my cousins turn up with their partners while I’m still single,” one said, “and hearing stories of all the cool things they did the past year while I have barely anything constructive to add to the conversation.”

“I can understand you,” wrote another. “I’m the one cousin that always sits by myself and eats the goodies or plays hp.”

Still, one or two suggested coming up with a good excuse not to come or avoiding the gathering altogether by travelling to a different country.

“You should just travel,” one advised. “Pick somewhere cheap like Malaysia or Indonesia. That’s what most people do to avoid such judgmental gatherings.”

Family gatherings are not the only thing people must deal with when preparing for the Chinese New Year.

In other news, a Singaporean asked people how much the going rate is for the traditional money gift or ang pow married people are expected to give certain relatives during the Lunar New Year celebrations. Answers ranged from S$2 to S$1000.

Read related: Singaporean asks “How much are you going to put in your ang pow?” Answers range from S$2 to S$1000