Is it “realistic” for women to expect men to pay for everything? Some Singaporeans says it’s a “red flag”

SINGAPORE: A 29-year-old man took to an online Singaporean community forum on Sunday (July 28) to ask online users for their thoughts on the opinion of a girl he had a conversation with recently.

After meeting a “lovely girl” with whom he shared an “interesting conversation,” the man took to an online forum to share the topic they talked about, which were expectations in relationships and marriage.

“In her eyes, a man needs to be able to provide financially and to put it simply, a man needs to be able to pay for everything in the family,” he shared.

He added, “This includes housing, food, bills, holidays, child expenses and the list goes on. The few exceptions are things such as personal spa treatments or leisure activities that she indulges in…she can pay (for those) on her own. Of course, she’s not expecting to live a luxurious lifestyle and it’s fair to say, she also does not want to be living rough.”

He then turned to fellow Singaporeans on the forum, asking them to share their two cents on the matter.

“Is this sustainable / realistic for average men (or even slightly above average men)? I can understand her view, as she also brought up that her parents share a similar view. I do agree that this view is commonly found and done in our parent’s generation. However, I wonder how many couples are doing this (where the man pays for everything) that are around my age group?”

“Let’s leave out the part where a woman is pregnant or she has devoted all her time to being a mum/ housewife. I can see that a man has to pay in this situation,” he added.

Singaporeans share their thoughts on men paying for everything

Many responded to the post, sharing their two cents on the matter. While some were quick to call out having such an expectation of a man a “red flag,” others explained their opinions in more detail.

“In my opinion, it’s not too realistic/sustainable unless the man is really rich,” said one. “I prefer teamwork. Of course, the man can always offer to pay and cover more costs but to ask the man to pay for every single thing…a bit too much. I’m a girl. Exceptions: If she’s pregnant, a full-time mother and housewife, or if she can’t work due to health issues.”

Others said that it depends. “I think there should be a balance, needn’t be 50-50, could be 60-40 or even 70-30 depending on income. If one has to quit the job to take care of a kid or household, then the other has to contribute (regardless if it is a man or woman).

“At the end of the day, I think it’s important if the person actually makes the effort to balance it out.”

TISG/