‘I’m very confused’ — Man asks if he’s wrong to party with his friends while his girlfriend grieves her dog’s death

SINGAPORE: A man took to social media to ask netizens if he was in the wrong for partying with his friends while his girlfriend was grieving the loss of her dog.

In an anonymous post on NTU Confessions, the man explained that he had tried to support her in every way he could. He even insisted on staying with her over the weekend and suggested doing things she enjoys, like going out for sushi and playing Cyberpunk 2077, to help lift her mood. However, his girlfriend declined, explaining that she didn’t want to talk and preferred to handle her grief on her own.

Since she didn’t want him around and he would otherwise be alone at home, he decided to hang out with some friends (whom she had always said she liked) and ended up going to a Skin Night event at Ten Men’s Club. “I told her that I was going, and she said I could do whatever I wanted and that she wouldn’t really care,” he said.

However, the next day, he was shocked when his girlfriend called him, extremely upset. She told him she was “very disappointed” that he wasn’t there for her during such a difficult time. She also said she had “trouble sleeping”, wasn’t feeling well because of her loss, and didn’t feel like she “could call or text him” since he was out partying.

In response, he told her girlfriend that he understood her desire to be on her own but reminded her that she could talk to him anytime, and he would be there. He added that even though he went to the party, he would have left immediately had she told him she needed him.

He continued, “Some people said I should simply go, but she lives with her parents, and I can’t just show up there without any warning. Not gonna lie, I am very confused about this situation. Am I the jerk?”

In the comments, one netizen offered a suggestion to help the man assess whether he was in the wrong. They wrote, “It’s very easy to tell if you’re in the wrong. Just switch the dog’s death with a human’s, and imagine you were the one grieving instead of your girlfriend. Then imagine she went out to have fun. How would you feel?”

Supporting your partner through grief

When your partner is grieving, it can be really hard to know how to support them, especially if you haven’t experienced a similar loss yourself. You may feel a strong urge to understand their pain or fix the situation, but grief is a deeply personal and complex process, and everyone handles it differently.

Grief experts suggest that during times like these, the most helpful thing you can do is offer your unwavering presence and support. Sometimes, simply letting your partner know you’re there, without trying to change how they feel, can provide them with comfort. Your steady compassion can help them feel less isolated as they navigate their grief in their own way.

Read also: Singaporean confused why companies ask for so much ‘personal and confidential info’ before job interviews

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