SINGAPORE: A 29-year-old man from America took to social media to ask how other men here could afford to have relationships.

In an anonymous post to confessions page SGWhispers, the man said that he recently moved here and earned an ““okay” salary (it’s a local non-expat contract for the big 4 so can work it out from that) although it’s tough with the current rental market and definitely not rich. I moved here single and so been trying to date. I don’t really have a preference in terms of people I date as long as we get on. I’ve had a few long term relationships back in the USA for which the most part were great, but unfortunately they didn’t work out”.

A few months back, he said that he started dating a 25-year-old Permanent Resident who was originally from Malaysia. He added that she earned a “reasonable” salary for her age, around S$3,000 to S$4,000. He continued: “The first date we went on I suggested some chill drinks and then she replied and asked if we could go to some fancy restaurant which would set me back about $250. Although, the whole night ended up being much more. Dinner was $250, taxis were $50. Then we went for drinks after (2 cocktails) which was $120. So altogether it cost nearly $420. She hadn’t even tried to offer to pay for something. Anyway, fast forward a while and we’re officially together now and she still expects me to pay for everything when I’m with her. Whether that’s to pay for her taxi to my place, dinner dates, trips away and even daily expenses. On top of all this, she also expects me to buy her gifts for her birthday, treat to things. I have no idea where she expects all this money to come from”.

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The man said that he was expected to pay for everything, while she did not even offer to pay. When he raised this issue with her, the woman said that since he was the man, he should pay because she did not earn a lot. “She’s said that all the guys she’s dated in Singapore, they’ve always paid for everything and I’m the first guy to raise this issue to her. I’m at the end of my tether because I do like hanging with her but I need her to take responsibility and offer to pay for things, unless of course I’ve specifically said I’m taking her out for dinner”, the man added. He said that they were planning a trip to Vietnam and while he did not expect to split the cost equally, he still wanted her to contribute.

“Am I being unreasonable here? How do guys in Singapore manage it? It’s literally getting to the point where I cannot afford to have a girlfriend. I don’t feel like I’m being used, since we spend a huge amount of time together and she does seem to genuinely like me, but she seems to have this mindset that guys are ATM cash machines and rich, which I’m far from”, the man wrote asking other netizens for advice. /TISG

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