“Parents, did the relationship with your spouse and in-laws change after having kids?” — Woman asks after another parent warns her that it does

SINGAPORE: Singaporean parents shared their experiences after a woman took to an online forum on Monday (Nov 18) to ask them if having kids changed their relationship with their spouse and in-laws.

“Parents, how did your relationship with your spouse and in-laws change after having kids?” the soon-to-be wife and possible future mother asked.

“My colleague shared that his wife and parents used to get along well, but that changed when they had their kid. His wife, originally demure and quiet, became a tiger mum.

His parents had opinions on how they raised their kid, which went against his wife’s opinions, resulting in a lot of tension between his wife and mum,” she explained.

A few responded to the post with their parenting insights. “My relationship with in-laws didn’t change much because they are understanding, and when they overstep, my husband will correct them,” said one.

“Ultimately, it’s how you and your spouse choose to parent, and each of us has to handle our respective parents. We have to be on the same page first. Whatever decision we make, we discuss it together first.”

Another highlighted the importance of couples working as a team. “Remember that the parents are supposed to be working as a TEAM to make parenting decisions,” the comment read.

“This team does not include the grandparents. Some grandparents overstep, but the parents should put up a united front and tell them, ‘My child, my way.’

Of course, this only applies to those who do not rely on grandparents for childcare. So, always send the kid to infant care or hire a helper to reduce reliance on grandparents.

This is how you keep a healthier boundary.”

According to the National Childbirth Trust in the UK, it is important to establish boundaries and enforce your convictions as the parent of your child.

However, it is also a good idea to be mindful of kindness and understanding. Talking about boundaries with in-laws can help keep your child’s needs central to the conversation.

Also, delivery is key, so open and respectful communication will help keep the peace.

Read also: Singaporean says, “It’s not just about the money, but the lifestyle struggles in SG that’s making young couples think twice before having kids”

Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)