SINGAPORE: A woman who felt that the man she was dating gave her just too many gifts took to social media asking how she could navigate the situation.
In an anonymous post to popular confessions page SGWhispers, the woman said that she had gone on a few dates with the man and felt that he was genuinely a sweet and considerate person. “However, I’m starting to feel a bit overwhelmed by the number of gifts he gives me. Please don’t get me wrong, I truly appreciate his generosity, but I’m not accustomed to receiving gifts from people outside my family. I’d prefer to see the money put towards a good cause or an experience we could share”. She added that when they would go out, the man would always choose high-end restaurants where the bill would come up to a few hundred dollars each time. “I’m not someone with extravagant tastes in food, and I’d be just as happy dining at a more budget-friendly place. The constant extravagance feels unnecessary to me. Additionally, he frequently travels for work and brings back souvenirs from every country he visits”.
She added that while it was evident the man was a generous person who expressed his affection through gift-giving, she felt that she was more practical. “I’ve already got a bunch of expensive stuff I received from my fam that’s just collecting dust in my closet, and some leather goods are starting to show their age because I hardly use them”, she wrote. The woman said that while she was comfortable receiving gifts from her family, she felt obligated when anyone else gave her gifts.
She asked netizens for advice on how to address the matter as she was not comfortable with the man’s actions. One netizen said: “Have a chat about love languages. Find out what’s his. Maybe he grew up in a family where the parents were busy so they showed their love through gifts. Then share your love language. Tell him how your love language makes you feel. Tell him what you would prefer him do and ask if he would mind spending money on that instead? Maybe he likes fine dining. Maybe he enjoys good food. Maybe you are just there to accompany him, sometimes men need to be spoiled as well”.
Another netizen commented: “Open your mouth and tell him la! You don’t say, don’t reject of course he will think that way works so he just keeps doing it because you didn’t say anything… Men are not all mind readers, tell us, don’t assume we will pick up all the subtle stuff”.