SINGAPORE: A 28-year-old woman shared on social media that she and her partner have decided not to get married or have kids.

In her post on r/askSingapore, she opened up about their relationship, explaining that they deeply love each other and are happily looking forward to spending the rest of their lives together. 

However, they’ve deliberately chosen to embrace a less conventional path and live on their terms by choosing not to marry. “We are loyal and committed to each other,” she wrote. “We don’t need a kid or a certificate to justify our relationship,” she added.

She elaborated on their priorities, noting that their decision stems from a desire to maintain their freedom and focus on their personal growth and experiences rather than adhering to societal norms. 

Despite their contentment, she expressed curiosity about what they might be missing from a different perspective. 

Thus, she asked the community, “Dear kind redditors, could you play devil’s advocate and tell me why people like me should consider marriage and/or kids?”

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Singaporeans on Marriage and Parenthood

In the discussion thread, some Singaporean Redditors shared why they see marriage and having kids in a positive light.

Rather than viewing it as a mere traditional milestone, they see marriage as a significant way to express their love, dedication, and commitment to their partners. They believe that taking this step can strengthen their emotional bond and provide a sense of security and stability in their relationship. 

Moreover, they also mentioned the practical advantages of having a marriage certificate. Aside from being able to secure an HDB flat before the age of 35, they said that getting married can relatively make the couple’s lives way easier.

One Redditor highlighted how marriage can simplify international work relocations. She explained that having a marriage certificate can streamline processes and cut down on paperwork when moving abroad as a couple, which ultimately makes the transition smoother and more manageable.

Another Redditor, who has been in a nine-year relationship with her partner, shared a personal experience. She recalled a time when she didn’t qualify for compassionate leave after her partner’s family member passed away because they weren’t married.

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“I ended up having to take leave. It’s things like that make me wonder if we should get married.”

However, some Redditors reassured the woman and her partner that they could choose not to get married if they preferred. 

They then suggested practical solutions to address legal concerns, such as nominating her partner as the beneficiary of insurance policies/CPF payouts and granting her partner the power of attorney for any decision-making.

One of them said, “The only thing you’ll prolly miss out on is the BTO.”

As for having kids, some shared that this was one of the best decisions they ever made in their lives.

They spoke about the joys, fulfillment, and profound love that parenthood brought into their lives. 

One Redditor said that no matter how difficult his day at work was, all of his troubles would fade away as soon as he stepped through the door and his children ran to welcome him with shouts of  “Daddy!”

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He said, “No one has looked at me with more admiration and love than my kids, not even my wife and mother.

Its pretty unpleasant most of the time, but my fondest memories came from them. Ive had great moments in my career, with my wife, etc. Nothing comes close.”

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Featured image by Depositphotos