20 y/o Singaporean says her parents are rushing her to settle down, asks, ‘What’s the ideal age to settle down in Singapore?’

SINGAPORE: While most people her age are still figuring out their careers and personal goals or simply enjoying their youth, this 20-year-old Singaporean woman is already facing pressure from her parents to settle down.

On Sunday (Jan 19), she took to r/askSingapore, a Reddit forum, to explain that she does not agree with her parent’s wishes because she believes relationships cannot be forced and would instead “go with the flow.”

Curious if others were dealing with similar pressure, she asked the community what they thought was the ‘ideal age to settle down in Singapore.’

“What’s the common age for both genders to get married in Singapore? My elder brother is also still single, and I don’t see him being worried,” she wrote.

“Also, it seems surprising that the older generation (Gen X, Millennials) or Malaysians get married earlier, like at 22. They said you’re considered old there if you aren’t married…?” she added.

“There is no perfect age to settle down; don’t let your parents hasten you…”

In the comments, many agreed there is no ‘ideal age’ for marriage in Singapore or elsewhere. They shared that everyone has their own pace and timeline for settling down, and it’s important not to rush into marriage if you’re not entirely ready or confident that you’ve found the right person. After all, they explained, making such a big decision before you’re ready can often lead to long-term unhappiness and regret.

One individual told her that she doesn’t need to follow what society or her parents expected her to do, writing, “You don’t need to get a job at 24, find a BF at 21, apply for BTO at 25, get married at 26, and have two kids by 35.

There is no perfect age to settle down; don’t let your parents hasten you to make important life decisions you’ll regret later. Just buckle up for the ride and see where life takes you.”

Another explained, “The ideal age is whenever you are ready to settle down—with the right person, when you both are financially stable to afford a house, when family planning is discussed, etc. 

It’s essential to be on the same page about whether you both want to start a family because it’s gonna be hard to compromise when one person wants kids and the other doesn’t, or both want kids but cannot decide how many.”

Still, some people chimed in with their take on the ideal age, saying that many people settle in their 30s.

One individual commented, “Ideal is quite personal. The last I read, the average age for men and women is about 30 (+/—1 year). It makes sense that you have a decade to build financial independence before marriage.”

Another said, “I see nowadays it’s like 30-40, within this range, if they haven’t met someone from school.”

On average, men in Singapore marry at 31, while women marry at 29.5

Raudhah Hirschmann, a researcher at Statista, conducted a study on the median age of first-time marriages in Singapore from 2014 to 2023.

Her findings revealed that men typically marry at 31 and women at 29.5. While the average age for men has stayed relatively stable since 2014, the age for women has been gradually increasing, indicating that more women are waiting longer before tying the knot.

The study also highlighted that this shift is mainly driven by the increasing number of women pursuing higher education and building careers. As a result, many are choosing to delay marriage and family life to focus on their professional growth.

Read also: SG worker asks, “Can my employer take back verbal approval for annual leave and refuse my leave request?”

Featured image by Depositphotos (for illustration purposes only)