She’s Indian, he’s Chinese, parents strongly disapprove – A ‘millennial’ speaks out against the stigma of interracial relationships

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In this day and age, why are interracial relationships still opposed? One ‘millennial’ spoke out against parents who disapproved of her relationship, citing reasons of race.

According to this Indian girl, the first thing her parents said when they found out about her boyfriend was, “why a Chinese?”

She continued, “How was I supposed to answer that? I didn’t look at his race when I fell in love, I fell in love with the person he is.”


Her story, featured on the Facebook page ‘Millennials of Singapore’, garnered much support from other young people facing the same problem.

The “typical Indian parents” she had were “adamant on the same thing – “He’s not a Hindu”. They refused to see him for who he is as a person. They only saw him as not Hindu”, she wrote in an account of the day her parents found out about her boyfriend.

After having spent almost four years hiding her relationship from her parents, she said that it took a toll on her emotionally and that “Not only was it exhausting to lie, I hated myself for doing so”, she said.

Once her parents found out about her relationship, she was relieved, but equally worried. “Were my parents going to disown me? Were they going to tell every living relative about how I’ve brought shame to their family name? Were they going to force me to break up with Tim?” she mused.

They gave her an ultimatum.

“I’m giving you two years to think about it. We’ll talk about this then.”

She said, “I’m afraid of where I will be in two years. I don’t want to be in a position where I’ll have to eventually choose between my boyfriend and my parents.”

“Sometimes I wonder, “why can’t my parents just be happy in the fact that I’m happy?”” she added.

She also said that it has been six months since her parents gave her the ultimatum, while she hopes that the remaining months are enough for her parents to have a change of heart.
“For them to realise that when it comes down to it, race or religion does not and should not define us or our relationship. And I really pray that I will not have to choose between a 6 year relationship with a partner I see my future with and family.”

Many seem to relate to her predicament. Are parents today still as traditional as they were back then?

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obbana@theindependent.sg