SINGAPORE: Irritated at the freedom with which two people recently commented on her weight, a woman took to Reddit to ask if this is normal in Singapore.
In a Wednesday (June 11) post on r/askSingapore, u/slcreation101 wrote that prior to getting pregnant, she weighed 48kg. She now weighs 52kg, 16 months after giving birth. The heaviest she got during her pregnancy was 60kg, which means she has already lost a fair amount of weight, and she added that she is still breastfeeding.
Nevertheless, her Filipino helper and the admin staff at her baby’s infant care have openly told her she’s put on weight.
When she called the helper out, the helper explained that “in Filipino culture, commenting on someone’s weight is often seen as a neutral or even positive observation, like saying someone is eating well.”
And when the post author asked the helper if she wanted her to lose weight, the helper finally understood and stopped making these types of comments.
“Is this kind of comment socially acceptable in Singapore? Is it seen as normal or harmless in some cultures or communities here? I’d love to understand different perspectives on this, especially around cultural norms and personal boundaries,” the post author added.
Some commenters on her post confirmed what her Filipino helper had told her, that in their culture, people do comment on weight openly, with some even complimenting people when they’ve gained weight.
Others agreed that it may be part of some Asian cultures in general, especially with older generations.
“In the Anglo countries, people generally don’t comment about each other’s weight in front of their face. My parents grew up in a smaller Asian town where boundaries don’t mean much. It might depend on how blunt a culture generally is. Not sure how it is in Germany, for example, but Japan would probably be more on the more polite side,” one wrote.
“Unfortunately, it’s part of our culture, though they mean no harm. Everyone wants to talk to me about my weight, even if it’s my body and none of their business. Just one ear goes in, one ear goes out la,” chimed in another.
Some reassured the post author that at her height of 1.6m, 52 kg is “far from obese.”
Another endeavoured to explain that “Asian folks love to comment on weight because the love language for a majority of seniors brought up in struggle times is to feed their family. If they see you’ve lost weight, they worry you’re not eating enough and/or they’re afraid they’re not doing a good enough job. If you’re fat, they’ll worry about your health. Either way, they’ll still force you to finish all the dishes on the table. Or else.”
They added, however, that focusing on weight is not just annoying but downright rude.
Others echoed this sentiment, adding that too much of a focus on body size can do real damage to people, especially to women, in the sense of leading to eating disorders. /TISG