SINGAPORE: A woman took to social media after her parents, who were already in debt, tried to guilt-trip her into paying for their holiday.
In an anonymous post to popular confessions page SGWhispers, the woman wrote that she found out that her father had no savings. She added that he did not have much funds left in his CPF account either because of “stupid decisions like buying a big house he cannot afford last time”. He defaulted on payments for many years. “We did downgrade eventually but there is still over 100k to be paid for cpf. We find that he is irresponsible and a burden now”.
Since the woman’s mother had some savings, her father started to rely on that money for daily necessities.
She wrote that though she and her siblings gave their parents an allowance of about S$2,500 each month, they still made her feel guilty. “For example, they asked me to go on a holiday with them. I am not financially capable now to go on holidays (im saving for my bto and have a young child), plus our relationship is not the best, so i would rather not go on holidays with them. Then they will say, last time when i am younger they go holiday with me always, now why i dont want. I already told them why. Still fall on deaf ears”, she wrote.
Even after she refused to accompany them on a holiday, they still shared itineraries and prices with her. The woman wrote that her parents would even offer to pay for her even though they were in a financial rut themselves.
“I told them they need the $ to pay for the house and if anything happens in terms of health (they don’t have hospital insurance and don’t qualify for one because they have chronic illnesses)”, the woman wrote. She added that she always had a constant feeling of guilt for repeatedly rejecting their proposals. She said that her siblings did not feel guilty for telling her parents off. But she also said that her parents did not ask her siblings to go on a holiday with them either.
Netizens who commented on the post suggested a middle ground: “I believe they are well aware that they are becoming old and may have financial burdens when they start falling ill due to old age & illness, and i believe thats why now more than ever, they are trying to have a holiday, create some nice and good memories to hold on to before they can barely move independently. Agree with the other commenters, 3D2N in JB should be more than enough. While our family starts to grow old, i think it’s time to put some hard feelings aside and take care of them like how they took care of us when we were noisy babies. just a thought tho”.