SINGAPORE: A woman took to social media to ask Singaporeans “how to deal with an obsessive future mother-in-law” who wants to know everything she does with her fiancé.

“My fiancé and I have been engaged for almost a year already. Wah, my fiancé’s mother cannot let go of him at all, leh. Whatever we do, she also want to be involved. It’s really irritating, you know?” the woman wrote on the NUSWhispers Facebook page on Monday (May 6).

The woman noted that at first, her future mother-in-law was “very nice” and respected their boundaries, allowing them the space and privacy they desired. 

However, following the engagement, there was a shift, and her behaviour became intrusive and overbearing. Whenever they went out, the woman said that her future mother-in-law would demand where they were going and when they were coming home.

“Late a bit also keep texting and calling asking where we are and if we are on the way back already. Like, why she need to know everything, right? We also need some privacy and space, leh.”

“But she always want to know everything, like she cannot trust us to take care of ourselves. She doesn’t even do this to the younger sibling. She just let them be.”

Feeling like they were singled out, the woman wondered why she and her fiancé were treated differently. 

“Sometimes, I feel likes she’s competing with me for my fiancé’s attention. Whatever decision my fiancé makes, she will interfere and try to “brainwash” him a bit.

I understand she’s his mother and all, but still, we are adults already, can make our own decisions, right? She makes me lost respect, you know? You want respect, then you respect me first lah.”

“She’s losing her son soon naturally she feels like she wants to cling onto whatever she can of him”

In the comments section, some folks stood up for her mother-in-law, saying her behaviour probably comes from knowing she’ll see less of her son soon, making her want to hold onto him tighter.

One individual said, “One day you will understand once you become a mum yourself and your boy is leaving your nest.”

Another commented, “I can understand how you feel, but you need some EQ education. You need to know where you stand in the r/s. How long have been with your fiance? 4-5 yrs?

His mom have known him for decades. That alone made her entitled to know everything about her son… What’s so difficult about letting her know everything? Besides, I think you need to learn to respect her as a mom if you ever want to have peace.”

On the other hand, others backed the woman and felt her mother-in-law was unreasonable. They advised her to reconsider her relationship entirely, as they believed similar or even larger problems might arise in the future.

One individual said, “Run, run as far as you can. Now is only the beginning, and she will be the reason for your constant quarrels between you and your future husband, and the reason for the divorce, you will not be happy at all in the marriage.”

Another chimed in and said, “I disagree with those who say once you are a mum, you will understand. Because there are mothers who don’t behave like that.

This type will go ballistic over things who eat with who/what/when during CNY/Xmas/ Mother’s Day etc.”

Read related: Woman complains that she regrets getting married, blames her rude and controlling mother-in-law for pitting her husband against her

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