Why do people get ghosted

It’s been a great couple of dates, or you’ve had some intriguing conversation and all of a sudden messages stop, texts are unanswered, and you’ve been blocked. You start to feel agitated and uneasy. Could something bad have happened to your new love interest?

Then you see another post or hear about that person being perfectly well, alive and kicking. And then that sinking feeling sets in. Yup, you’ve been ghosted.

Ghosting is when someone cuts off all means of communication with absolutely no explanation. It’s a terrible feeling.

For most people it’s very confusing and disorienting, why would anyone treat someone so heartlessly out of the blue, especially when things may have been going well.

Is ghosting a new trend

According to a study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships in 2018, out of 1,300 people, a quarter of them have been ghosted by a partner, while one-fifth reported that they have ghosted someone.

It usually occurs in short-term relationships, which are distinguished by low commitment and little to no intimacy.

Reasons for this vary; some do it for convenience as having a direct conversation can be unpleasant, and they prefer a passive approach.

The attraction has faded. This could simply mean that there is a loss of interest and the ‘ghoster’ rather take the easy way out than confront the issue.

A sudden change in feeling from intense attraction to repulsion. This sometimes happens when you newly get to know someone and everything is coasting along rather smoothly and all of a sudden they do something completely off-putting, offensive or repulsive in your eyes.

Security is also an issue. Stalker-like behaviour can manifest suddenly, or a person may turn out to be just plain creepy and then ghosting happens.

However, as much as these seem like reasonable reasons for ghosting, be aware that ghosting can happen for no reason at all, leaving the person on the receiving end feeling lost, confused and struggling for closure.

How to find closure and move on from being ghosted? This could especially be hard for people who have a sensitive or empathetic nature, and who cannot imagine doing the same to someone.

Tune in to our upcoming edition on relationships and how to cope with ghosting to find out more.

Ghosting Part 2; how to get closure and move on

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