If you feel like your partner is avoiding you or blowing off plans all the time, it’s time to sit up and take notice. Licensed marriage counsellor and family therapist at Birmingham Maple Clinic in Troy, Michigan, Carrie Krawiec, said that couples should work to define what constitutes quality time.
Sometimes the changes in your relationship may be so subtle that you don’t even notice it, so here, we give you some warning signs to take heed of before it’s too late.
Your partner doesn’t seem to have time for you
“There is a continuum of side by side to face to face, and different people are satisfied with different degrees. People should gain awareness of their preference as well as their partner’s and recognize ‘quality time’ should encompass a little of what is satisfying to each of you.”
Warning Signs – Romance is dead
Sometimes your partner may be with you but not care to hold your hand or even to make any effort to look nice for you or be affectionate in any way. This is also one of the warning signs.
“The gestures that keep sparks alive aren’t big vacations or lacy lingerie. Little texts, gentle touches or revealing small likes and dislikes or fears, hopes and dreams can keep us feeling electrified toward on another.”
You’re no longer important
You need to come first, not last, not after the kids or work. If your partner is keener on spending time with others and indulging in their hobbies, it’s a red flag that they don’t want to spend time with you. If he or she is doing so, consider if it’s to avoid you.
“All couples should want to spend time together,” says Krawiec.
No arguments
No, this isn’t a good thing, as a partner who no longer wants to explain or argue things out could mean that they have given up. If your partner rather keeps quiet than argue, it’s not a good sign. This, too, is one of the warning signs.
“Stonewalling, or shutting down, is another of John Gottman’s four horsemen of the apocalypse. Storming off, silent treatment or disinterest are all examples. Although conversations can be conflictual, turning toward your partner instead of pushing away during times of stress is actually healthy. When couples can reveal, share comfort one another, they release stress hormones that are good for both the giver and receiver,” says Krawiec.
They are easily annoyed, and they annoy you as well
If your partner is easily annoyed it can be a sign of built-up resentment. “The next time you fight over some silly chore or whatnot, ask them what really pisses them off,” says Celia Schweyer, a relationship expert at Datingscout.com.
“It is better to have frank conversation instead of letting underlying resentment and annoyance boil up and bubble over.”
If they pick fights for no reason confront them about it. “When you finally give up, they will put the blame on you and tell you that you were not patient enough or you don’t love them enough to keep the relationship.”
Contempt
This one is super obvious and a dealbreaker. “Contempt is general dislike for your partner. It’s characterized by name calling, eye rolling, swearing, sarcasm, mean teasing. If there is contempt in your relationship it’s a sign that there are hurt feelings, unheard needs and a depletions of resources.” Now you have pretty good knowledge on such warning signs.
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