SINGAPORE: A man took to social media wondering if he should tell his fiancé about his flirty colleague. In an anonymous post to popular confessions page SGWhispers, the man said that he was “quite passive in nature and this is something very new for me, I was newly posted to this site to manage a small team of 3 in a site office and one of my colleague has been making things quite awkward and difficult for me”.

He added that the other staff members were mostly out of the office for site work, and he was the only one alone in the office with his flirty colleague. He added that she was five years his junior. “She would come by my desk to ask questions and look at my screen – I am very uncomfortable with the physical contact. I have tried to move away but she would continue to press against making me feel uncomfortable. I may have given off the wrong vibes in the first week trying to be friendly since I was new and I find she is overstepping the friendliness – touching my shoulders and chest when we talk and I had to create distance to stop this nonsense”, he wrote.

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The man added that his colleague would also constantly ask him what time he would be coming to office and would send him irrelevant messages such as photos of her dinner and asking him personal questions. He added that he was engaged and even had a photo of his fiance on his desk which his colleague ignored. “I have seen her trying to eavesdrop on my conversation with my fiancee twice now. I have kept things strictly professional but it feels very worrying to go to work daily now. I am also wondering if I should share this with my fiancee – we have a strong relationship but she is very possessive and gets jealous quite easily which leads to life becoming even harder at home”, the man wrote.

Some colleagues told him to “cherish this” but the man was annoyed and added that he felt rather stressed to bring the matter up to human resource. He asked netizens for advice. Netizens told the man to tell his colleague directly: “You manage her? Seriously, you need to step up, speak up and set some harder boundaries. You can’t be passive in this situation any longer. You also need to say STOP in front of others as well so that she can’t turn against you and possibly make up lies when she realises she can’t get her way. Repetition is the key to stoping bad behaviour. And don’t indulge in anything personal at all. If she tries to engage in personal questions either walk away or just say “I don’t discuss my personal life”. Give her the cold shoulder in everything except work and if her behaviour doesn’t change then you’ll have no choice but to go to HR”.

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